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My $150,000 Wardrobe

I don’t know why everyone is harassing Sarah Palin about her $150,000 wardrobe enhancement. I mean, what’s the big deal? That’s about average in 2008, isn’t it? I know that I still have $25,000 left to spend on my $150,000 wardrobe enhancement, but I’m feeling pretty good about the $125,000 I’ve spent. I mean, like Sarah, I have a lot of public appearances that I have to make. I appear in public pretty much daily.

My most recent purchase was a heavy-duty pull-over fleece top that I bought at the Blue Heron tent sale a week and a half ago. I got it for ten dollars. I mean, ten thousand dollars (*cough*) which is what the receipt I sent to the GOP said.

Really, what it comes down to is pantsuits and makeup that is not available in the cosmetics aisle of Target. That’s really where the bulk of the enhancement budget went. I will look fabu in my new pantsuits as I meet “real Americans”. And the makeup will transform me into a movie star. That’s what it’s all about, right? When I’m at the self-serve gas station, people will offer to pump my gas for me. Because they will look at my pantsuits and know that I’m somebody to worship.

Everything I own now, by the way, is encrusted in Swarovski crystals. That’s what makes the difference between being dressed and being enhanced. When people see my glittery pants, tops and underwear, they will be excited to even be near me, and declare the money well spent. No more store-brand pants for me, I’m SOMEBODY NOW!

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Gosh, Where Can I Get a Top-Loading VCR?

Hey kids! It’s your old pal Apple Johnnyseed reminding you to swing by the Old AV for all your old audio-visual needs! Betamax? Reel-to-reel? We got that, and more! This week only a sale on 8-Track players and accessories! The first 5 customers will get the new Beatles 8-Track, Magical Mystery Tour, for a buck!

Old AV

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I R Stupid

I basically spent the long weekend taking photos and getting a brake job on the van. I preferred taking photos. Went with one kid and husband on Saturday, and other kid and his friend on Sunday and Monday. I will slowly fill my flickr profile with the best ones. Or the ones I feel like forcing on all of you.

I spent a long time today working on getting just the perfect photo of a swan floating on a little man-made pond. You know, he was a great model.

And then I got home, uploaded the files, looked at the swan photos…and realized it was plastic. People who knew much have thought I was a huge moron. Or maybe they did it on purpose to amuse themselves. Actually, I suspect they did it to try to keep geese away, and it appears to have worked. Still, would it have killed them to put up a sign that said “I don’t care how much you really want a photo of our swans, they aren’t real.”

It's plastic

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