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Don’t Hire Me as Your Manacurist

I am really really bad at it. I don’t let the polish dry enough before I start doing things and then it gets wrecked and I have to remove it and re-apply it. And then I sort of wreck it a little bit and I think to myself “Well, I can probably live with that” even though it doesn’t look very good.

I need instant-dry nail polish that is very thick and covers well and doesn’t peel off in two days. Is that so much to ask for?


I don’t even normally do my nails all that much. I like to keep them short. But the minute they get even a tiny bit long I put a little polish on them and then a few days later I just cut my nails short again. And by the way, long for me is probably short by anyone else’s standards.

So is that mundane enough for ya, this lovely Patriot’s Day?


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