The Big DumpTruck

Throwing Little Thought Pebbles at Your Windshield Since 1996

Me and My Wide Stance

Senator Craig says he has a wide stance, and that’s why when he sits on the toilet in a men’s room, his foot goes all the way under the door and touches the foot of the person sitting next to him.

I have to tell you, I tried to do this at work (the other stall was empty) and I almost fell off the toilet.

I am starting to think that maybe, just maybe, Senator [as of this minute] Craig may just be creating what we at the Dump House like to call “a story.” Every once in a while Junior tries to pass off a story to cover up whatever he is doing/has done and my standard response is “do I look stupid to you?” That’s the point where he comes clean.

I’m thinking that I should start writing outright lies about my life. You know, to spice things up. And if anyone calls me on it, I’ll explain it’s because I have a wide stance.

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  1. Anonymous

     /  August 31, 2007

    Funny to see so many rich and famous people in power doing so many brain dead things lately. Guess when you move up the $$/power ladder you leave some brains behind at the lower altitudes. I haven’t tried it but you don’t need to lie, just need to get a “second life”. Guys at work are all over this stuff, I have never tried it. Jerry

  2. Anji

     /  September 2, 2007

    I can’t wait for the purple elephants to move into your house…..!

  3. Jody

     /  September 2, 2007

    anji, I got those out with a big can of “Phant-Be-Gone”.

    Jerry, the thing is, if you get up the ladder legitimately, and you are honest and true to your beliefs and yourself, this crap wouldn’t happen. It’s the guys who lie to get elected who have to keep lying to stay alive politically. I have no respect for people like that.

  4. Christine

     /  September 4, 2007

    Larry Craig’s sexuality has been in doubt since the ’80s. At the same time, he has a perfect record of voting antigay. Can we say projection? Couldn’t have happened to a nicer guy.

    Tom Doyle on WROR had a pretty funny song parody about him, to the tune of Knock Three Times by Tony Orlando:

    Knock three times
    On the stall door if you want me
    Don’t tell my wife…