The Big DumpTruck

Throwing Little Thought Pebbles at Your Windshield Since 1996

Month: July, 2007

Happy Belated Laundry Day!

Yesterday was laundry day around Casa Des DumpTrucks. I think I personally did 375 loads of laundry. I know that there were parts of the floor I hadn’t seen in months that are now part of the family again.

We celebrated laundry day by, um, doing laundry. We also took in a showing of The Simpsons (only a couple of iffy words, I was more concerned about the content of the preview for Good Luck Chuck, or whatever it’s called, which seemed to me to be more R than PG-13, given that the entire thing was about sex) and got some shampoo at Target. (Pantene, I got the one that has shampoo and conditioner combined because I’m so damned lazy that I cannot be bothered to do them both if it involves flipping the cap on two different bottles. I haven’t done a 2-in-1 shampoo since Pert was first introduced in the Middle Ages and I hated how greasy it made my hair.)

Oh, okay, we also celebrated laundry day by playing a round of Travel Blokus (tip ‘o the hat to utterwonder.com for bringing Blokus to my attention) and Mario Party 8 on the Wii. And then I ended laundry day by pretending I had enough money to buy a wide angle lens for my camera. (Anyone have an opinion on the Sigma 10-20mm? Is it too slow to use indoors?)

Okay, so I added a script to the page that will automatically turn key terms into Amazon.com links. Let’s see how much of the above ends up sending you all on shopping sprees…

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Used Bidet? No Thanks

Saw a “news” article this morning that something is planning to sell Jerry Garcia’s stereo speakers and bidet.

His bidet.

The thing he used to clean his arse with.

Okay, no offense, but why on earth would someone want to own such a thing? I know that there are people out there who are gigantic fans, still, of his, but really, do you need his bidet? What about his toilet, he probably used that a lot more than the bidet. Or was there a urinal cake somewhere that he peed on?

It looks like the proceeds from this sale will be going to charity, so I’ll cut them a little slack, but please, people, if any of you want to buy my used appliances, contact me offline so we don’t have to deal with the embarrassment of holding a public auction.

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Bathroom Ninjas

There are two Ninjas in my bathroom. They are both sort of orange and clear and they are sitting on the counter. If I didn’t have a 9-year-old son, I would worry. “How did I get ninjas in my bathroom? Are they here to harm me? Why are they on the counter? Did I already brush my teeth?”

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Is It Wednesday Yet?

Sheesh, this is taking forever! I’ll be good, though.

Hey, that book I talk about below? The author really really hates Disney. Like, REALLY hates them. So now I’m sort of on the fence about recommending the book. Okay, I’m still enjoying the book but I think Mr. Anti-Disney (“Too bad that inferno is now burning up the whole Sunshine State” – said in reference to the spark that ignited Disney’s theme park flame.)

So the point I’d like to make to the author is that if it weren’t for the major attractions in Orlando, most of these roadside oddities would suffer from a large lack of visitors. Instead, people like me planning a trip down to see the mouse will buy his book to look for other places to visit while I’m down there. Do you really think a family from Massachusetts would plan an entire trip to see the Indian River Citrus Museum?

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Vaction Planner = Me

I’m the kind of person who finds planning a vacation as relaxing and enjoyable as going on one. Maybe more so, because when you are planning, everything and anything is possible, there are no lines or bugs or heat, no need to pull out the credit card every fifteen minutes, no maps to read or refold. I love trying to pick just the right hotel at just the right location. I could spend hours on travel websites looking at the interiors of hotel rooms. I’m smart enough to know that if a hotel’s website only shows closeups of the pillows on the bed or the bedside table, the room is probably the size of a small dog.

So every time we go to Florida (and sometimes even when we aren’t going) I am in planning mode times 12. I get books. I read websites (lots of them) and my favorite email newsletter from allearsnet.com (If you enjoy Disney and don’t get this weekly newsletters, your Tuesdays are a cold and dank place I don’t want to be.) Remember, one of my photos is on their website (scroll all the way down – the last photo on the page is mine.)

This time around, Mr. Dump asked to be the planner guy, and I said yes. So my role has been greatly reduced. I only got one updated guide (I’m saving all my old ones…some day we’ll read and look at the pictures and say “oh my gosh, it hasn’t been like that for 10 years!”). But I also got a book called Oddball Florida: A Guide to Some Really Strange Places (Oddball series). It’s really really good and now I want to take a trip to Florida and just hit all these awful tourist attractions! By the way, my new favorite street name comes from the location of the Water Ski Hall of Fame and Museum – it is located on Holy Cow Road in Polk City. Holy Cow Road! I want to live on Holy Cow Road!

So that’s all I have to say today. I’m still killing time. I can tell you, I won’t be finishing the Oddball Florida book in the next few days.

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Killing Time Waiting for UPS

UPS is bringing me that book that I promise I won’t talk about for at least the next 5 days. Okay, fair enough? I will not talk about it, and I would ask you to do the same with your comments. Nothing until, let’s say, Wednesday t 3pm. Is that long enough? It should be, even if you didn’t pre-order a copy or haven’t gone out to get one yet. And when I do talk about it, I won’t put it in the post title or the first paragraph, so you kids with RSS readers or what have you won’t have to drop me from your feed. Aren’t I nice?
Mine is coming, but I need to go to Target and you KNOW there will be a display of them. Will I have the self-control to not buy a copy?

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Count the Chucks

Dump friend Chuck of Unbecoming Levity took “one” of the coolest photos I’ve seen in forever. I have to go try to do the same thing, that’s how cool it is. I think it’s going to take some planning, to find a place where there won’t be a lot of background activity, and to take it at a time when the light won’t be rapidly changing (so midday). Go right now and check out the photo. It’s VERY cool.

(His site gives the final Chuck count. Junior spotted one that I missed.)

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What Other Pot Can We Stir?

Welcome Heathen-Seeker! I really do appreciate all the traffic being funnelled my way by the website that sent you here. I don’t have any real plans to pimp my children out for the sake of a charity car wash, just in case that wasn’t clear. I don’t believe in car washes. On the other hand, I would allow any cute child of mine to open a charity lemonade stand on a busy street.

I kid!

No, I’m not about pimping my children. I’m not interested in short term rentals. The real money is in selling your children outright.

I kid again!

Here are important things that I would like to share with the hoard of Catholics (or is that a “pew of Catholics?”) wandering through the front door:

  • Dubble Bubble white gumballs are pineapple flavored.
  • Disney’s Meteos game boy game is very very hard so why make a Disney flavor that implies it’s for kids? The Winnie the Pooh level is a killer!
  • Mr. Dump made American Chop Suey for dinner. He’s my hero.
  • I wouldn’t be sad if Barry Bonds retired before breaking the record.
  • I’m confused. El Presidente said we were fighting this war to make America safer. So then why have the Al Qaeda reformed and possibly moved terror cells back into the US, putting us in the same danger we were pre-9/11 if…and I hesitate to even suggest it…the war in Iraq has nothing to do with Al Qaeda because the Iraqis didn’t have anything to do with 9/11?
  • CNN – you stink. What the hell is up with the new redesign? There is less branding (and useful information) on there now than there is on my website! And if you don’t cut the crap with the video-only stuff I’m going to scream. Don’t you even care about the millions of people who want to check the news at work and have video streaming blocked? I’m done with you. I’m going to have to go somewhere else to get my news and that’s a sad, sad thing.
  • The Vicar of Dibley – how come nobody told me about this show? I adore Dawn French!
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How to Run a Carwash

Mr. Dump has decided that if your youth group is going to have a
successful car wash you need a minimum of 30 (!) volunteers divided into
two lines with different people given wash, rinse and dry roles.

I said that if you had 6 really cute girls you'd be all set. He pointed
out that unless severly disfigured, most guys think *any* 16 year old
girl is cute. I have to agree with this theory. But I don't know if you
can staff all 30 positions with cute girls. As long as you have a couple
of them holding signs on the road, you'll suck people in behind the
school where you can actually have boys do the heavy work.

Good thing we have no reason to run a charity car wash. I don't have 30
volunteers lying around.

Does anyone else have this kind of oddball discussion?

[Posted from the SideKick using email]

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Ride ‘Em Schoolboy

Everyone is showing off the quality of the photos taken with their
iPhones, so I feel I should share a photo I took with my SideKick of Junior on an
inflatable bucking bronco. We did this at the Oak Ridge Farm Stand when
they had their strawberry festival. It’s not as good as the ones taken with an iPhone, but it’s not awful.

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