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Welcome to Target, How May I Help You?

I was at Target tonight, you know, because that’s where I live, looking at some fans for the house. We need one for our spare bedroom (which is not so spare when my step kids are visiting) so I was checking prices on some. A woman who was browsing with a male companion approached me and said “excuse me, do you have any box fans?”

Me: “I’m sorry?”

Her: “Do you have any box fans?”

Me: “Me personally? No. I, uh, don’t work here.”

Her: “Oh my gosh, I’m sorry!”

My shirt wasn’t even really red, more brick-ish. Sheesh.

So now I’m thinking I should get a real red shirt, have a nametag made up, and wander the aisles or Target giving bad advice.

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Columbine is Cool


Columbine Portrait.jpg, originally uploaded by Big DumpTruck.

I like this one so I thought I would post it to my blog. My blog needed something flowery to remind you that it’s girl-based. I know you thought for a minute that me talking about being a mom was some kind of ruse, but it wasn’t.

The background on this is actually little white rocks, but the depth of field makes it look like marble or something like it. Maybe a snow drift. Okay, maybe not.

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Posted in writing

Things I Won’t Write About Today

You are not going to be able to read about a few things here today because I am not going to write about them. If you came here to read up on these topics, I’m truly sorry. Maybe next week I will want to write about them, but for now, I will not.

  • My favorite knock-knock jokes that involve dwowning
  • Why I prefer ketchup on my roast beef sandwich
  • The benefits of salt
  • My favorite air drumming songs
  • Why a blue pen is better than a black one
  • Paris Hilton’s prison-issued underwear woes
  • How often the 1920 Girl Scout handbook says you should wash your hair
  • The horror of watching your 3rd grader become a 4th grader overnight
  • Why mentioning Paris Hilton and Lindsey Lohan is only good for attracting random visitors but not your loyal readers who prefer, say, Fred Mertz prison jokes
  • Suggestions for how to weed through all the coffee cups you have received at trade shows to keep the number under 8
  • Words I can make from my phone number(s)
  • Things Mr. Dump won’t be getting for fathers day

I’m sorry I’m not going to be talking about those things. Maybe if you all feel very strongly about one or more of them, you can convince me to cover the topic. Otherwise, tough it out, people.

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Green Acres – Olivah, you want hot cakes with your milk?


green acres, originally uploaded by Big DumpTruck.

As you can see, Junior is attempting to milk the big fiberglass cow at Sturbridge Village. You can see it in the cow’s eyes…she’s not happy. Not happy at all. The boys, on the other hand, thought this was great. In fact, we made three trips to Ye Olde Milking Station. Bossy was full of water, and on a hot day, if you aim it juuuuust right, you can spray each other. Now that is a great way to make sure the bus loads of 9 year old boys will tell everyone they had a great time on the field trip.

I have to say, they have made a lot of improvements at Old Sturbridge Village since the last time I was there, and although I’m greatly saddened by the fact that they have apparently closed the restaurant, they are making improvements to other buildings. Do me a favor, and schedule a trip down some time this summer. I know they’ve had financial issues and I’d hate to see such a great place close. Plus you can milk a fiberglass cow.

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Identified Flying Object – Pool Party!

We had baseball games on Saturday and Sunday this week. The difference between Saturday’s sauna game (I thought I was going to pass out at one point – I can’t imagine how the boys in their polyester uniforms and knee socks handled it as well as they did) and Sunday’s wearing-three-layers in the drizzle game was staggering.

Interestingly, the IFO (because after a minute it was no longer a UFO) incident happened on Sunday, when it would have seemed more appropriate for the hot day.

We were standing, watching the game, when suddenly we saw a “balloon” take off from the neighborhood behind the ball fields. We quickly realized it wasn’t a balloon, but more of a flying donut with strings or something hanging off of it. I decided (and others agreed) that it looked like a flying pool toy – our assumption being that someone had a helium tank and had filled up an inflatable pool ring with helium, turning it into a balloon.

What an odd site. I would have killed to have my camera. Or to be on hand when the thing finally landed somewhere and people have to figure out how they ended up with a pool ring on their roof.

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