Month: February 2006

Okay, raise your hand if you remember watching The Man With the X-Ray Eyes on Creature Double Feature on channel 56 as a kid. C’mon, you can fess up. (I suppose you can raise your hand if you saw it on another station in another town as well, but for the locals, all your horror and B-movie needs were taken care of by channels 38 and 56 when we were kids. And channel 56 did Creature Double Feature every Saturday from noon to four. My sister was a much bigger fan of this than I was, for the record.

Alright, so if you remember the movie you remember the ending of the movie. And if you haven’t seen the movie, stop reading now because I’m going to talk about the ending, and I don’t really feel like putting too much effort into protecting you from having a 1963 Roger Corman film spoiled. You have been warned.

Okay, so you remember how it ended…he kept putting the drops into his eyes, like an addict, until the were completely black. (At least that’s how I think it ended. That’s what I have burned in my brain anyway. His eyes turn all black and he goes blind. What a happy ending!) Anyhoo, my right eye is such a deep dark red that I feel like Ray Milland at the end of that movie. And now old lefty, feeling jealous, is developing the same problem. I can’t see through anything, for the record. So don’t worry about me ratting you out to your mom for your less than pristine underthings. My doctor told me yesterday that it probably wasn’t pinkeye because it was only in one eye. Okay, thanks for that. Now it’s spread to the other one, do I get to have medicine now? If not, I’m going to have to rip my eyes out. Or get me some X-Ray Eye drops.

Here’s a crappy photo taken with my phone.

I just added a link to a site owned by a guy I know. I know him because he’s actually been inside my house at least once; a dinner guest actually. He found me charming and for that reason alone I should have put him on my link list years ago. Of course now it just seems like I’m doing it because he is apparently some sort of web guru with book credits and speaking engagements at conferences and all sorts of other geeky goodness. Not that I’ve been able to parlay his long-time friendship with Mr. Dump into anything of substance, mind you. I can’t even get my marriage to Mr. Dump parlayed into anything of substance (Ha!).

It’s not like I’m trying to become an A-list blogger or anything. Or B-lister. Sheesh. I sit here waving my arms saying “Did you know that my site was once listed in Access Magazine, the Sunday Newspaper insert that was a lot like Parade Magazine?” But that was a long time ago and I think they are defunct but it was still a pretty high profile mention.

Maybe if I post pictures of my eye.

Wait, what was I talking about? Oh ya, so I added a link to Ethan’s site but I hope he doesn’t check the link back and notice how crappy my style sheet is. That would be embarrassing.

I don’t know that I actually have “pinkeye” because my doctor says if you only have the problem in one eye it usually isn’t. And I don’t have ALL the pinkeye symptoms, so maybe he’s right. But my eye was crusted shut this morning, is all red, with dark red eyelids, and it’s itchy and hurty and kind of feels like I’ve been sobbing my eyes out for days. And itchy and hurty. Don’t forget that.

So I don’t know where this came from. The only answer, then, is that God is punishing me for something. I just need to figure out what. The only cartoon I’ve created recently is a lovely drawing of Ricky Ricotta from the back of one of Junior’s books (it shows you how to draw the characters, step-by-step) but I don’t think any major religions consider Mr. Ricotta (or his giant robot) a prophet. I could be wrong, of course.

Let’s see, anything else you need to know? Oh right, I almost forgot…there’s another item that we may have to add to the “Things Jody Loves that they Discontinue” list. I have to do more research, but all the grocery stores I’ve visited in the past few weeks have stopped carrying a product I really love – Cremora Royale. It’s plastic coffee creamer, but you have to believe me when I tell you that Mr. Dump used to put it in my coffee sometimes and I couldn’t tell if he’d used half-and-half or not. That’s the mark of a fine product. And because we don’t make coffee at home very much any more, we don’t buy half-and-half, and if there’s no half-and-half, I can’t make coffee at home even if I want to. We used up the Royale we had so I need a new container…and can’t find one. So I’m going to search it out on the web, hoping that the fact that it’s not on my local shelves doesn’t mean it’s gone forever.

At about 6pm last night Junior asked Mr. Dump if we could change the channel to Cartoon Network. Such a silly child.

It got cold again. I just know that this stupid weather is going to make me sick. I was outside, doing yard work practically naked (okay, I wasn’t really. But my coat was unzipped) and the boom, I drove to work through what looked like a snow globe. I am done with winter. Too many 50 degree days. I just want to get spring started up and not look back.

Junior had a run-in with a baseball in the back yard and got a bloody lip. I keep trying to tell him that this is the kind of thing that happens in baseball if you don’t move quickly enough…someone could hit a line drive and you have to get the glove in front of your face fast. (This wasn’t a line drive, he was just playing catch and we weren’t even throwing it hard.) He’s okay, it sort of knocked into the tooth that was already loose, so I told him we could just keep throwing baseballs at him until the tooth comes out. I mean, the kid is 8 and he’s only lost 2 teeth so far? Once he calmed down from the blood, he got all upset again when he realized that Phantom, King of the Chews, had started ripping/eating the cover off his baseball. His souvenir Disney baseball from our last trip. Oh, the sobbing. Luckily, I told him that in exactly 12 weeks, I would personally replace the baseball. So I guess the first order of business in Florida is to hit the Star Tours gift shop at Disney MGM. Oy.

Happy Barfday to Mr. Dump!