Month: January 2005

Maybe it’s the weather, or maybe it’s because last year by March all the good houses were rented out already, but for the past two days I’ve spent lunchtime browsing rental sites for beach houses and emailing the links to my sister. I found the perfect house – anybody out there want to give me $6000 so I can rent it for a week? Really, I’ll send you pictures of my smiling face!

Man oh man, it’s hard to find exactly what we’re looking for within our price range, and that’s considering two families splitting the cost! Is it too much to ask for something within spitting distance of a sandy beach where the kids can swim? Huh, is it? “Waterview” is misleading if the kids can’t go in and swim. I know for some folks, the view is all that matters – but we’ve got three kids who would NOT be happy to just stare at it from the deck.

I just realized that the reason I don’t put a lot of Photoshopped images up here on the Dump is because C Monks is just so gosh-blammed good at it that he puts the rest of us to shame. What is the point of me working days on a piece when he’s got the mad skillz to wipe the floor with me?

I’m telling you, we should all be so lucky as to be able to create the kind of stuff you’ll see if you click the above link.

(He cracks me up, I tell you!)

Oh goodness, only one week left of being a swinging chick “in my 30s”. Crap. What were the things I needed to do by now?

• Write a book. Okay, well, I’ve got enough material here and there for like three books. I guess the next step is for a publisher to hand over a check, no? Stupid me, the only time I kind of sort of had an editor from a real publisher sniffing around, I didn’t want to write the book she was interested in seeing. Well, part of the problem was that while the concept was funny for 10 or 20 pages, it would be tedius for 150 to 200 pages, y’know? I didn’t want to have my name on something I felt would be doomed to failure. I probably should have done it anyway. At least it would have been failure, as opposed to, well, nothing.
• Take a cruise. Hmm. I don’t get vacation time, so that’s a problem. Plus I’d have to somehow pay for it. I think this one is going to have to go on hold.
• Road Trip to Niagra Falls. Now why on earth haven’t I done this one. I mean, I could drive there. It’s not like it would take weeks. Sure, I didn’t want to spend that much time in the car with a baby or toddler, but Junior is older now. Oh, wait, he can’t even handle the 20 minute drive to my sister’s house without asking how much longer it will be. Maybe if we can also take my step-kids so the three of them can pass the time by fighting with each other, we could get this one done this summer. Granted, I didn’t do it before 40, but it’s a billion below zero out there this week, and I don’t see myself enjoying standing in the mist of the falls getting frostbite.
• Parlay this website into a full-time job. Ha. I can’t even get more than 200 hits per day on average. Obviously, I’m doing something wrong. Maybe I’m not young and cute and I try to keep things “family-friendly.”
• Write a regular column for a newspaper or magazine. Well, nobody’s knocking down that door either.
• Get back down to what I weighed in college. Let’s see, 7 days, how many pounds a day is that? Um. Next.

Well, those are the big ticket items, for the most part. There were a couple of items that might have gone on if they weren’t repeats, as in, “I want to go BACK to ____”. I figure I’ve visited those places at least once, which many people cannot even claim.

Looks like most of my items are writing related. I guess I have nobody to blame but myself for the lack of action on those.

Okay, special note to myself regarding the rest of the winter: Keep an eye on both the weather reports and the gas guage, so that you don’t have to stand out in the -20 wind chill pumping gas when you could have done it over the weekend and not risked frostbite. Man oh man, when the “E” lit up on the dashboard this morning, I could have cried. And for those of you who, like me, tend to be surprised by the weather, it’s going to be even worse on Friday. Make sure you get out there, let’s say, by Thursday around lunchtime to fill up.

I’m watching my niece and nephew for a little while this morning. Obviously that means I’m trustworthy. That means I have to refrain from the following activities today:

• Fun with Matches
• The “Poison or Candy” Game
• Dancing to Death Metal
• Eat Cake Until We Throw Up
• Knife Juggling

See, I can be responsible!