April 2009 – The Big DumpTruck

Ode to the Wrong Shoes

Posted on April 29, 2009February 24, 2011 by Jody

Ode to the Wrong Shoes

I wore the wrong shoes today
Right color, wrong brand
My eyes were tired and blurred
when I reached into the closet
hoping for the best
I found them by touch
and at first glance
saw brown shoes and ended my search.
The cuffs of my pants hang lovingly
against the top
But Wait!
These are the Wrong Shoes
They are not my really comfy Merrills
They are tight
and my big toe feels crushed
defeated
stupid brown shoes
you will pay for your sneakiness and
your harm to my toe
with your life.

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Swan Flu Watch Continues

Posted on April 28, 2009February 24, 2011 by Jody

My bout with swan flu, characterized by an urge to eat Kettle Korn and a lack of energy when it comes to dragging my sorry ass out of bed in the morning, appears to be improving. I believe this can be attributed to my making a meal that involved cream of mushroom soup last night. Depression set in, however, when I realized that I forgot to bring the leftover in to work this morning, thus leaving me leftoverless. I certainly hope this does not cause a setback in my rapid recovery path.

As for the visitors stopping by from Universal Hub, I thank you for your kind concern and your page hits. Do feel free to follow me on Twitter. You know, at least until I’m out of the swan flu woods. Or the swan flu meadow.

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Vacation and the Swan Flu

Posted on April 27, 2009February 24, 2011 by Jody

I think I have swan flu. I’ve been reading about it in the paper, don’t you know. It sounds very bad but in reality, if you have swan flu you cough a lot and want to sleep in on Monday mornings. I have both of those symptoms. I’m very concerned that my swan flu will be catchy, so I am trying to avoid doing yard work, which I believe will make the swan flu worse.

You should thank me for being so concerned about spreading my germs.

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Oh Lord, I’m Lazy

Posted on April 15, 2009February 24, 2011 by Jody

I’m typing this on my bed. Downstairs, gerbil Suzy is on her wheel, and the wheel is squeaking. But I don’t want to go downstairs to take the wheel out because
a) I don’t want to get out of bed
b) I don’t want to go downstairs
c) I don’t want to have to wash my hands after taking out the wheel.

I wonder if it would be a bad thing to wake up Junior and make him do it. Maybe if I used a stern mom voice he wouldn’t question my sanity. Out loud.

parenting

Worst Reason to Cancel Baseball Practice

Posted on April 10, 2009February 24, 2011 by Jody

Junior has practice tomorrow. We heard it might snow. You know, people, by Tax Week, we should have all this snow nonsense behind us. [Yes, of course I know it’s not unheard of – our Lamaze class was filled with the result of the Unnamed 4/1 Snowstorm of ’97. Not us, we were due a couple of weeks after everyone else. I’ve told you that before. I’m not making it up.]

I have less than a week until I’m on vacation. I’m pretty sure that I’m not going to make it until then before bursting from anticipation and packing-avoidance. You know, the usual.