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My Not-Golden Globe

I don’t have a Golden Globe. We do have a globe, but it’s planet-colored. I think most of the countries are right, but I haven’t checked it in a while. I may need to take a Sharpie to a few ne’er-do-well countries – I should have kept a list during the Olympics.

I also did not get any ultra swaggy gift bags. I call foul on that one. I hear you get electronics and pimple cream. Well, I’m basing that entirely on a radio commercial for said pimple cream. I have to suspect that most folks rip through the bags, pull out the Blackberry Storms and iPhone’s and leave the pimple cream on the table near the empty vodka bottles and shrimp flotsam.

I’m glad I didn’t go because I don’t have anything to wear that wouldn’t make the bag lady section of the fashion mags. If I was a super-hot starlet I would try to bring back the Laura Ingalls look. I think hot me could pull it off.


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