Posted in writing

Things I Won’t Write About Today

You are not going to be able to read about a few things here today because I am not going to write about them. If you came here to read up on these topics, I’m truly sorry. Maybe next week I will want to write about them, but for now, I will not.

  • My favorite knock-knock jokes that involve dwowning
  • Why I prefer ketchup on my roast beef sandwich
  • The benefits of salt
  • My favorite air drumming songs
  • Why a blue pen is better than a black one
  • Paris Hilton’s prison-issued underwear woes
  • How often the 1920 Girl Scout handbook says you should wash your hair
  • The horror of watching your 3rd grader become a 4th grader overnight
  • Why mentioning Paris Hilton and Lindsey Lohan is only good for attracting random visitors but not your loyal readers who prefer, say, Fred Mertz prison jokes
  • Suggestions for how to weed through all the coffee cups you have received at trade shows to keep the number under 8
  • Words I can make from my phone number(s)
  • Things Mr. Dump won’t be getting for fathers day

I’m sorry I’m not going to be talking about those things. Maybe if you all feel very strongly about one or more of them, you can convince me to cover the topic. Otherwise, tough it out, people.


4 thoughts on “Things I Won’t Write About Today


    Oh I am SO PISSED RIGHT NOW! I got this note, and immediately looked up their number to do the “how late are you open” call and the person who answered told me they’d closed the location (no other details). I’m near tears here.

  2. According to the Starbucks lady, they were very rude in that location — at least to her. So she stopped going in there and said they didn’t get much traffic.

    Sorry to ruin your day… 🙁

  3. I don’t want to talk about how 3rd grade boys became 4th graders overnight either! Wasn’t it not that long ago that we were changing their diapers??!! How did they get to be 9 yrs old so darn FAST??? Wait, don’t answer that, I don’t want to talk about it.

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