I have decided to pass along some wise words of wisdom [modesty!] to all of you today. You can thank me later, by showering me with Nerds and other appropriate offerings. (The good offerings would be the ones that fit on the front of a Canon XTi, you know, to clarify.)
Let’s just say you’re me. Or someone like me. Or you, but you live in this area and drive to someplace south on 495. IF you leave the house and realize you have forgotten to put on deodorant, but then decide you can stop at Bolton Orchards because they sell some grocery items, be prepared to be offered one and only one type of deodorant. Oh, and it’s an icky roll-on, so if you put it on under your clothes, you can sit and worry that it will never dry and will put some sort of wet stains on your shirt. And then you can realize that it cost six dollars instead of the $2 you normally pay for your own brand when it’s on sale. And then you can be horrified to realize that your armpits smell like those gigantic lilies they put in flower arrangements that give me migraines. That’s right, I smell like an allergy-inducing floral arrangment today.
When I go to the baseball game tonight, bees are going to attack me for sure. It was nice knowing you.