Gotta do an official Thanksgiving post. The law says so. Never you mind which law. So, in keeping with the standard Big temptress theme of pointless mundane content, I will give you an official list of things to be thankful for that doesn’t include anything intended to pull on your heartstrings. There are enough other sites out there for that, and they usually have little cartoon kittens and hearts in the background. NTTAWWT.
2006 List of Things You Can Say You’re Thankful For When Grandma Makes Everyone Say Something.
- The Internets. Specifically, The Google. And the ability to use The Google to look up satellite photos of our Crawford ranches.
- People who leave comments on our websites. Those people are the best people on the whole planet and also Neptune.
- I am also thankful for Neptune. Neptune rulz.
- The heater in my minivan. Good golly it’s been cold this week! If Thanksgiving were in the Summer, I would be thankful for air conditioning.
- Dunkin Donuts. America runs on Dunkin. Nuff said.
- The color yellow. Last year, we thanked the color green, which then got really snotty and did not reciprocate by thanking humans. So I am no longer thankful for green, I am throwing my support behind yellow. Paid for by the committee to thank yellow.
- My fingers. I am thankful that year after year, they are here to support me and my need to type things. A special shout out to left pinky this year. He knows why.
- Q-Tips. I would lose my mind if Q-Tips did not exist. If I run out of Q-Tips I have to make an emergency run to the store to get some because I cannot go two days in a row without Q-Tips.
- Pilot EasyTouch Medium pens. There is no other pen on the planet I like as much as these, so I am thankful to the Pilot company. The Pilot Precise V5 is a close second, but it is not the EasyTouch, available at fine retailers everywhere.
- Crispy bacon. If you are like me, you know that you don’t even have to explain it. I like to pretend I am living in Little House on the Prairie days when they had bacon for every meal. Bacon and potatoes, but the potatoes didn’t have butter or sour cream, so that is right out. But maybe they had crusty bread and some cheese or something with their bacon. Baaaaacooooooooon.
So there you go. Cut this list out or copy it onto your hand with a Sharpie so that you’ll have something to say when it’s your turn. Gobble Gobble!