The Big DumpTruck

Throwing Little Thought Pebbles at Your Windshield Since 1996

Month: January, 2006

Imperfect Attendance

Junior had perfect attendance at school this year…until today. Poor kid has had a low-grade fever since I picked him up last night. It’s not like he wasn’t going to blow it when we go to Florida in April anyway, but I have to tell you, I can’t BELIEVE he hasn’t missed a day of school since it started! The last day of January!

What a difference a few years make. Remember, this was the same child who needed ear tubes because he had so many ear infections as a baby (I’ll have to find the actual number…I think like a fisherman I keep embellishing. I want to say 23 by the time he was 15 months old, but that seems high. Then again, he had a lot of them. He was my little snot-nosed boy. Still is, actually, but a lot of it is allergies. And we’ve just been incredibly lucky this year as far as illnesses. Nothing so bad that he had to stay home. But he’s home with my mom today until I can get out of work. He did seem better this morning, but he still had a slight fever and you’re not supposed to send them to school like that, so I didn’t.

Oh, and as a hint of the weather to come, tonight we sign him up for the 2006 Little League season. C’mon, spring!


No Broken Bones, But Not For Lack of Trying

Skiing Saturday didn’t go as well as it had the week before. At Nashoba, the only beginner hills they have are the bunny slopes with tow ropes, so I went up the lift to the intermediate slope where they take the kids taking lessons. Very very steep. Way too steep. And I was having an impossible time controlling my speed. I don’t know why this was so much harder than last week, but I felt like my skis were sticking in the snow, so I couldn’t turn, etc. etc. etc. Which put me in a panic. Which didn’t help me at all.

The trail felt WAY too narrow and too steep for me, so I didn’t feel like I could traverse…every time I turned I’d start flying down again, so instead of lazy S’s down the mountain, I was going across, then stopping. Back and stopping. No fun. I just felt completely out of control…I hated hated hated it. I made two runs, fell down a total of 5 times, including one slide that made snow go up my back and down my snowpants. I was not a happy camper. (Even less so the next day when every part of my hurt – especially my hips and butt).

I will try to go back to Wachusett in the next week or so, and go on their easy run so I can get my confidence back. I was just not ready for the intermediate trail, and as it stands, I won’t be skiing again at Nashoba until I figure out why I was having so many problems. I swear, I did really well the previous Sunday, you can ask Mr. Dump.


Pizza, Pizza, French Fries

I think it’s time to come clean with everyone. You have a right to know. It’s hard to talk about so I’ll say it quick, like ripping off a Spider-Man bandage.

I took up a winter sport.

Don’t hate me, okay? I know that my pudgy out-of-shape self has been an inspiration for legions of Dump fans across this great, illegally wire-tapped land of ours. I am famous for my love of curling up by the fire and ignoring anything that requires me to venture outdoors from November through March.

So I apologize.

But I have always been unable to handle peer pressure (okay, that’s a lie but go with me here) and I was forced…FORCED…into this. And I didn’t hate it. I didn’t hate it at all. And I will probably do it again tomorrow.

I took a 1.5 hour ski lesson last Sunday, and lived to tell the tale. Not only that, but I did pretty well. [James Frey Embellishment Alert!] And my instructor, an ex-navy seal on a booze bender who’s legs were both amputated at the hip, recommended me to the head of the ski team. They made me their captain and at the end of my lesson I participated in a giant slalom competition, where I placed 2nd. I would have placed first, but as I was coming down the hill, a small child was chased out of the crowd by a wild boar, and I had to save her before I could cross the finish line. [End Embellishment.] So it was a good day. Wish me luck tomorrow!


Wrong on Many Levels

Christine pointed out that yesterday’s blog title was right on many different levels, which is true. Today we discuss something that is wrong on many levels. I’ll leave it to you to figure out which ones.

Yesterday, at a light, I looked over at the guy next to me and he was watching a workout video in his car while he was driving.

Is there really anything else I could say that would make this any better than what is going through your own head? No. And if the only think you have going through your head is a whistling wind, drop a comment and I’ll explain why this is wrong.

Also, when I’m not listening to WXLO (mostly in the morning) I listen to MikeFM (93.7). I get so sick of the repetition of crappy songs on WXLO that I do this for my own sanity. But every once in a while, the whole “Drop a ton of CDs into a computer and press shuffle” gives you something that makes Baby Jesus cry.

One day I heard “My Ding-a-Ling” which amused me. But two nights ago, I heard a duet I didn’t know existed and it just made me realize how odd the music-buying public is. It was a Tom Jones doing a duet with the singer from the Cardigans, doing a remake of the Talking Heads’ “Burning Down the House.” Whoa. Once again, I have nothing else to say.


I Love Me Some Nerds

I am going to come clean here and admit that I have become a Wonka Nerds addict. I don’t know how it happened. I don’t even remember when I first had some, but now, I can’t live without them. I like the grape ones the best, but strawberry is good too. The fruit punch and orange ones are not on my list, but lacking all other flavors, I’ll eat those. Nerds, Nerds, Nerds. I don’t even like to eat candy that much – I can’t believe how much I love these things.

Does that make me a bad person?

So basically it’s just sugar and flavoring. Ever so good for you. Well, they are good for your soul, so that makes them good. Not so good if you are trying to cut empty calories, but I look at it this way…one or two of the little tiny boxes instead of a bowl of ice cream is probably a good thing.

So remember kids, if you want to suck up to me, Nerds.


I Can’t Take It Any More

The comment spammers are killing me. I can’t even begin to tell you what a low ring of hell is reserved for these people. They are the lowest of the low. So I guess I’m going to have to switch my commenting software, because I just can’t keep up with the comment spam any more, and every one comes in from a unique IP address, so I can’t even block them normally.


So for now, I guess I’m going to have to go with the stuff Blogger provides for free, until I can figure something else out. For those of you using that solution already, do you still get comment spam if you turn it on without the thing where you have to approve all comments?

That means that all the recent comments will be lost. For that, I am truly sorry. Your words of wisdom will live on in my heart.


I Have a Plan!

George Bush wants to get his filthy stinking paws on the records of “our” Google searches….so my idea is to have everyone in the United States, no, the world, spend all day doing searches for things like “Bush is Hitler II” and “Bush is Eroding Your Civil Liberties” and “How does it feel to live in a police state?” and other helpful things. I’d like to get a copy of the final report if we could make this work.


Normal Fur Is Sometimes a Plus

Sure, our dog doesn’t shed, and his hair is so soft it makes Miss Clairol jealous, but look at what happens to him in the snow.

This doesn’t come off that easily, by the way. We have to submerge him in warm water to melt off the snowballs. Fun.


Hi Mom!

It’s a winter wonderland outside this morning. I’m willing to bet my cheese money that this is a classic “man, we blew it” storm. They were saying 2-6 inches yesterday, and even as late as 6 this morning. Well, I have news for them, there is 6 inches out there right now and it’s not supposed to stop until after dinner. And it’s that HEAVY stuff. School was cancelled and I was annoyed, because 2-6, what’s that over the course of 12 hours? Well, obviously it’s waaaay worse than that out there.

Mr. Dump’s commute was hellish. It took him an hour to get from Leominster to 495 on Route 2, and then another hour to get to the Chelmsford rest area, where he stopped to clean the windshield and unblock the washer spout thingies. While there he noticed the CBS4 truck doing a live traffic/weather report, and then reporter turned around and pointed at him and then waved, so he waved back while the camera was pointed at him with the light on. So Mr. Dump got to be on television this morning! Hey, it at least made the commute a teeny bit more interesting.

Christine, his commute was about as long as yours, but it was a much further drive, on highways. Ick ick ick, I guess I’m kind of glad I’m stuck at home with the boy, even if it means taking a hit in the paycheck. I don’t need a three hour commute each way.


Stealth Theo

Theo’s back on the payroll, and they didn’t shout it from the mountaintops! When I went to bed last night only and bostondirtdogs were talking about it. Why? Because they didn’t make the announcement through the media, they just put notice up on, and figured people could find out at their leisure. When Remdawg didn’t even have mention on his site, you know that’s a stealth announcement.

I have to say, this is very unlike the front office, the people who held a press conference after someone LEFT the team. This is the biggest news on Yawky way in weeks, maybe months, and they post it after hours and only on their own website.

I’m dying to hear what the unwashed masses are saying – I assume by the time I get to work work will be getting around.