Oy, I can’t believe there’s another cat 5 hurricane whooshing through the Gulf. Good luck to everyone in the path. I have a feeling people are taking this one pretty seriously and are getting the hell out of town. I do feel bad for the people who are evacuating from the places they evacuated to. If it were me, I’d say I was being followed.
Month: September 2005
Other Funny People
On one of my regular mailing lists (for Topfive.com contributors, if you must know) someone (Blair Bostick) posted something that made me laugh out loud, and he gave me permission to post it here because he doesn’t have a website like this one.
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Hey, isn’t Trent Lott’s porch floating somewhere in the Gulf of Mexico?
I figure Lott’s already collected his FEMA handout and has rebuilt his porch. What do you think FEMA was doing the first two days?
Brownie- “On today’s “While You Were Washed Out” Ty and Hildi re-do Trent Lott’s porch. Let’s watch as their neighbors, the Notsomuch’s, follow Hildi’s ridiculous ideas for re-designing the Lott’s front porch.”
Hildi-“Bill, Doris, how are you?”
The Notsomuch’s- “Um, fine now that we have these shirts.”
Hildi- “Great, great. Now I found this huge pile of mobile home siding, right in the front yard, and we’re going to turn it into a fun fun fun doghouse under the new porch for the Lott’s dog, Dixie. So, while you guys get pulling that soggy insulation off the siding I’m going to go choose some ludicrous color combinations for the walls.”
Meanwhile:
Brownie- “So, Lotts, what are we doing to the Notsomuch’s house?”
T Lott- “House?”
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Don’t forget to visit TopFive if you want to see the exclusive first photos of Britney’s Baby! (safe for work)
Smokin’
Junior was thriled to see his own breath this morning while we waited
for the school bus. I have to tell you, I was significantly less
thrilled. Call me Debbie Downer, but I am bummed that summer is done and
over with. My sister closed up her pool for the season…I didn’t even
get that “one last swim” that you know is the last so you enjoy every
second of it. Dang. Remind me to yell at her.
Speaking of Junior, he’s digging 2nd grade. Tonight he showed me all
these patriotic ASL signs (I knew what he was doing when I saw the signs
for “I” and “Love”. I did like the sign for flag. I don’t know how often
it comes up in conversation, though. Also, apparently he read a history
book, so he was telling me all about it. ALL about it. I may have missed
this in history class, but it turns out that in the 1870s Daniel Boone
fought on the British side when Brazil declared war on the US via the
Native Americans. When the fighting was over, only 5 people survived in
the fort, and old Daniel was one of them.
You know, as he goes into excruciating detail, and the detail is just a
little off kilter, you don’t know where to start. It becomes so
overwhelming a task to correct everything that I found myself simply
asking if he could bring the book home some time.
I’m a big fan of the Brazil-Indian-British-American war of the 1870s…
If It’s Free, It’s Gotta Be Good
The Sound of Thunder Under My Shirt
Good God, my stomach is making noises that it should not. I don’t think I’m hungry, which means the noises are scarier in nature. As in “oh my God, what’s going to come shooting out of me?” But they sound like hunger growls. As a preventive measure, I bought some Rolaids and popped a couple. You know, in case the noises are gassy in nature. Is this too much information for you? I apologize. I know how delicate all your constitutions are.
Been a busy week at work and at home, so I apologize in advance for my low profile. Well, that and MY STOMACH MAKING NOISES LIKE A BULLDOZER which isn’t as low profile as I’d like. Also, please do not mix cherry Rolaids with a sip of lime Poland Spring Sparkling Water, for all that is good in the world. Just don’t.
Gah.