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The Juice Cap Knows All

You can keep your palm readers and your Ouija boards and your tarot cards…I have looked into the future via the all-seeing, all-knowing…juice cap.

I bought a bottle of Nantucket Nectars juice this morning – Pineapple Orange Guava, if you must know. Oh, and it isn’t juice, apparently it’s “Flavored Juice Cocktail Blend.” Mmmm, doesn’t that sound nummy? Anyway, the Juice Guys(R) have always put stuff on the inside bottom of the bottle caps. Island history, juice trivia, etc. Today mine said, and I quote, “The Red Sox will win the World Series next year.”

Wow. So does that mean I don’t have to plan my weekend around this Yankees series? Cause that would save a lot of wear and tear on my heart, to be honest.

Thanks for the heads-up, Juice Guys!

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We have a lot of broken phones in our family. How weird is it that right now we are looking to replace 4 phones? My mom’s phone (which is on my t-mobile account, so it counts as mine) has been funky for months. I don’t remember if I mentioned it or not, but in Vermont last month, it would stop functioning. None of the buttons would do anything, including the on-off button. This made it really hard to use, by the way. So we got a replacement for that one – it arrived yesterday, I charged it overnight, and swapped the sim for my parents this morning and sent them on their way with a new phone.

Then there’s Mr. Dump’s Blackberry, which is flaking out big time. It doesn’t ring. Not just the sound, but it doesn’t receive calls properly. So if you call him, he doesn’t know until a little while later when it says he missed a call or three. This is no good when you’re a working parent and the school has your cell phone number for contact, y’know? Or if you are trying to use it as, well, a phone. Oh, the keypad isn’t working either, so for a while, the only way he could call someone was if they were already entered in his addressbook. Fun! So he’s been trying for a week now to get Cingular to fix it, or sell him a new phone, or whatever, but they wouldn’t/couldn’t. Last night he got someone who told him he was “unsupported,” as in, we didn’t sell you that equipment, AT&T did, so we’re not going to do anything for you. You have to drop your service (read: plan) entirely and start up as a new customer with Cingular.

What? Who DOES that? You buy out a company, you take on their customers and their customer’s needs. PERIOD. Cingular, you SUCK.

So he made the bold switch to T-Mobile, and he’s getting a SideKick. I must have finally worn him down.

Okay, last two phones are the ones in the house on the land line. One of them doesn’t hold a charge. The other one was making these really awful screechy noises the other night. (I think it was the other one, because we had to switch them to take care of the no-charge issue with the downstairs one. And then the screeching was downstairs. I never liked these phones, by the way, so fine. Good riddance. I mean, you can’t pick up both at the same time. As in, I answer upstairs and it’s for Mr. Dump, I can’t just yell down and have him pick up. I have to actually transfer the call to him. Stupid.

So those are the 4 broken phones. 1 is replaced, 1 is ordered, and the other two are on the weekend to-do list. And who says my life isn’t exciting?

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Has Anyone Seen My…

I seem to have misplace 150,000 pills. Baby aspirin, by the way. Nothing bad. I had them in a REALLY big child-safe bottle.

Okay, but seriously folks…

We were supposed to have girl’s night out tonight, but had to postpone until next week. That’s probably for the best because Mr. Dump ended up having to stay home sick today. I hope whatever he has isn’t catchy. It’s got a sort of a flu vibe…headache and nausea. Of course, because I pride myself on my very well-cared for hypochondria, have personally placed an EEE diagnosis on him. I don’t think he’s been bitten by any mosquitoes lately, but maybe there’s a new way of getting it. I told him to call the doctor anyway, but you know how they overreact. I am pretty sure if he calls them and they make him go for tests or something (spinal tap, anyone? I learned my lesson the hard way to be careful how you describe a headache to a doctor) he will KILL me.

“So, honey, does it feel like your brain is swelling?”

That’s probably a bad question. I get sinus headaches that may or may not be migraines, and they ALWAYS feel like my brain is swelling.

I will have him keep touching his chin to his chest, just to be sure. And if he can, I’ll tell him he’s well enough to throw a load of laundry in the machine. Cause you know, that’s how I show compassion.

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Wow, Aren’t We Proud

Caught a headline and when I looked up the story…ugh. Yea Leominster. So much to be proud of.

“Arrests occurred in Leominster over the weekend following the attempted sale of 150,000 ecstasy pills to undercover officers — the largest ever undercover ecstasy drug deal in the eastern United States.”

We’re #1! We’re #1!

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You Asked For It, You Got It

Anji wanted to know what Jon’s art looks like when he’s not using an Etch-a-Sketch, and he responded with the following:

This is obviously a picture of Tim Burton’s Jack Skellington. I love how he captured (quite accurately) the wavy background. Now he’s going to try drawing an original in the style of Tim Burton, because there’s apparently a contest running out there. I think he’ll have a pretty good shot (can’t wait to see his entry).

The sunburn is fading, thanks to all who expressed concern at my “I look like Richard Dreyfuss from Close Encounters when he got the sunburn on one side of his face” look. It’s not too noticeable now. Yesterday was downright dank compared to Saturday, but I was happy because sitting out at a soccer field for an hour in the full sun would have killed me. I would have been the mom sitting under a tent. But no need, and in fact, yesterday marked my first “wore long sleeves all day” day. Not just long sleeves but fleece. I love wearing cozy clothes – I’m not a fan of having to show a lot of skin. I love summer, but not the constant need to wear shorts. Yea long pants season!

And you?