The Big DumpTruck

Throwing Little Thought Pebbles at Your Windshield Since 1996

Month: September, 2005

The Juice Cap Knows All

You can keep your palm readers and your Ouija boards and your tarot cards…I have looked into the future via the all-seeing, all-knowing…juice cap.

I bought a bottle of Nantucket Nectars juice this morning – Pineapple Orange Guava, if you must know. Oh, and it isn’t juice, apparently it’s “Flavored Juice Cocktail Blend.” Mmmm, doesn’t that sound nummy? Anyway, the Juice Guys(R) have always put stuff on the inside bottom of the bottle caps. Island history, juice trivia, etc. Today mine said, and I quote, “The Red Sox will win the World Series next year.”

Wow. So does that mean I don’t have to plan my weekend around this Yankees series? Cause that would save a lot of wear and tear on my heart, to be honest.

Thanks for the heads-up, Juice Guys!

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Broken-Phones-R-Us

We have a lot of broken phones in our family. How weird is it that right now we are looking to replace 4 phones? My mom’s phone (which is on my t-mobile account, so it counts as mine) has been funky for months. I don’t remember if I mentioned it or not, but in Vermont last month, it would stop functioning. None of the buttons would do anything, including the on-off button. This made it really hard to use, by the way. So we got a replacement for that one – it arrived yesterday, I charged it overnight, and swapped the sim for my parents this morning and sent them on their way with a new phone.

Then there’s Mr. Dump’s Blackberry, which is flaking out big time. It doesn’t ring. Not just the sound, but it doesn’t receive calls properly. So if you call him, he doesn’t know until a little while later when it says he missed a call or three. This is no good when you’re a working parent and the school has your cell phone number for contact, y’know? Or if you are trying to use it as, well, a phone. Oh, the keypad isn’t working either, so for a while, the only way he could call someone was if they were already entered in his addressbook. Fun! So he’s been trying for a week now to get Cingular to fix it, or sell him a new phone, or whatever, but they wouldn’t/couldn’t. Last night he got someone who told him he was “unsupported,” as in, we didn’t sell you that equipment, AT&T did, so we’re not going to do anything for you. You have to drop your service (read: plan) entirely and start up as a new customer with Cingular.

What? Who DOES that? You buy out a company, you take on their customers and their customer’s needs. PERIOD. Cingular, you SUCK.

So he made the bold switch to T-Mobile, and he’s getting a SideKick. I must have finally worn him down.

Okay, last two phones are the ones in the house on the land line. One of them doesn’t hold a charge. The other one was making these really awful screechy noises the other night. (I think it was the other one, because we had to switch them to take care of the no-charge issue with the downstairs one. And then the screeching was downstairs. I never liked these phones, by the way, so fine. Good riddance. I mean, you can’t pick up both at the same time. As in, I answer upstairs and it’s for Mr. Dump, I can’t just yell down and have him pick up. I have to actually transfer the call to him. Stupid.

So those are the 4 broken phones. 1 is replaced, 1 is ordered, and the other two are on the weekend to-do list. And who says my life isn’t exciting?

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Has Anyone Seen My…

I seem to have misplace 150,000 pills. Baby aspirin, by the way. Nothing bad. I had them in a REALLY big child-safe bottle.

Okay, but seriously folks…

We were supposed to have girl’s night out tonight, but had to postpone until next week. That’s probably for the best because Mr. Dump ended up having to stay home sick today. I hope whatever he has isn’t catchy. It’s got a sort of a flu vibe…headache and nausea. Of course, because I pride myself on my very well-cared for hypochondria, have personally placed an EEE diagnosis on him. I don’t think he’s been bitten by any mosquitoes lately, but maybe there’s a new way of getting it. I told him to call the doctor anyway, but you know how they overreact. I am pretty sure if he calls them and they make him go for tests or something (spinal tap, anyone? I learned my lesson the hard way to be careful how you describe a headache to a doctor) he will KILL me.

“So, honey, does it feel like your brain is swelling?”

That’s probably a bad question. I get sinus headaches that may or may not be migraines, and they ALWAYS feel like my brain is swelling.

I will have him keep touching his chin to his chest, just to be sure. And if he can, I’ll tell him he’s well enough to throw a load of laundry in the machine. Cause you know, that’s how I show compassion.

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Wow, Aren’t We Proud

Caught a headline and when I looked up the story…ugh. Yea Leominster. So much to be proud of.

“Arrests occurred in Leominster over the weekend following the attempted sale of 150,000 ecstasy pills to undercover officers — the largest ever undercover ecstasy drug deal in the eastern United States.”

We’re #1! We’re #1!

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You Asked For It, You Got It

Anji wanted to know what Jon’s art looks like when he’s not using an Etch-a-Sketch, and he responded with the following:

This is obviously a picture of Tim Burton’s Jack Skellington. I love how he captured (quite accurately) the wavy background. Now he’s going to try drawing an original in the style of Tim Burton, because there’s apparently a contest running out there. I think he’ll have a pretty good shot (can’t wait to see his entry).

The sunburn is fading, thanks to all who expressed concern at my “I look like Richard Dreyfuss from Close Encounters when he got the sunburn on one side of his face” look. It’s not too noticeable now. Yesterday was downright dank compared to Saturday, but I was happy because sitting out at a soccer field for an hour in the full sun would have killed me. I would have been the mom sitting under a tent. But no need, and in fact, yesterday marked my first “wore long sleeves all day” day. Not just long sleeves but fleece. I love wearing cozy clothes – I’m not a fan of having to show a lot of skin. I love summer, but not the constant need to wear shorts. Yea long pants season!

And you?

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Why yes, I am stupid, thanks…

I feel really dumb. And to make matters worse, I look really dumb, so I cannot hide my idiocy.

“Why Jody,” you say, “whatever do you mean?”

“Well,” I answer, “did you happen to take a good look at me?”

At that point you either scream in horror or laugh. And point. At my face and neck. Why yes, I did get the worst sunburn I’ve had in years today, why do you ask?

See, we were going to the Bolton fair for a couple of hours. Get there for 9, leave before noon. It wasn’t even 60 when we left, so I had a sweathsirt on and everything.

But then we started having a lot of fun, and watching shows. And next thing we knew, it was 4 o’clock, and we’d been out in the sun ALL day with no lotion on, because I forgot to bring it. Because I wasn’t thining about it when covered head to toe this morning.

So my cheeks and nose (of course) are red, as is my neck and the little triangle opening of my shirt. And my left ear. My left side is worse than my right. Oh, and my arms, cause I took the sweater off.

So I look really stupid. Good thing I hadn’t looked too closely at myself before I went out to run errands earlier this evening, or I wouldn’t have gone.

So not only am I all stupidly sunburned, they didn’t even have a stand selling sweet potato french fries. Why did we even bother going?!?

P.s. For the record, read the ad in the paper carefully. They weren’t “disco” dogs, they were “disc” dogs. Not dancing, frisbee. So I had told Junior we were going to see some dancing dogs but really, they weren’t, unless you count the spinning stuff. And then he got it into his head that we could teach this stuff to Phantom, so I had to buy him a kind of soft frisbee thing at PetCo tonight. Because no amount of me explaining the difference between the skills of a 6 year old border collie vs. A 5 month old cockapoo would convince him that it wasn’t going to happen.

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Bastiges

It is nedstat, er, webstats for u. Jerks. Big loser jerk heads. I’d say more, but this is a family-friendly site, which is why getting FILTHY pop-ups when I never ever EVER agreed to such a thing has me flabbergasted. Almost 7 years I used them.

So here are the final stats from those jerks.

Measuring since … 13 October 1998
Total number of page views up till now 212312
Busiest day so far 5 May 2002
Page views 2727
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My Counter? It’s My Counter?

Oh man, I’m not happy. I think that the ads are being served up by the company providing my “free” web stats. I’m 98% sure it’s them, especially when I got an email from Dumper Becky last night that she got an ad when I’d already stripped almost everything off. And then this morning I got one at work. GRRRRRR. Okay, that’s completely sucky and unacceptable. Now I have to grab all my data from their site, and dump their butts. That also means I can put my weather report back up, and I should probably apologize to Google while I’m at it, but heck, it isn’t like I’ve made any money running their ads anyway. So maybe I’ll leave them off. Or change them. I dunno. I’m cranky about the whole thing so maybe I should put off making any decisions.

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Keep Your Hands And Arms Away From the Operator

Didja ever see something that made you think “Wow, I have wasted my whole life up to this point because I never bothered to learn how to do XYZ properly”?

My step-son will not be able to say that when it comes to the Etch-a-Sketch. He is the master. We bow down before him. (You! Over there! Bow down, I say!)

He just sent the following to me. Please note that these were done on a pocket Etch-a-Sketch. I don’t know if that makes it harder or easier, but it does make it pocket-ier.

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What Next?

Now that Britney Spears has had her baby (you have seen the first photo over at TopFive, right?), which celeb mom-to-be will grace every cover of People Magazine? I mean, they have to have somebody, right?

Oh, by the way, if any of you experience a pop-up ad on my site (i.e. you load my site and get a pop-up or pop-under) and you’re pretty sure it’s not something from the site you just left, could you drop me an email and tell me who the ad is for, and then make a note of what the ads are over in the right nav bar? I fear that these are somehow related to the stuff coming here from Google and I’m trying to track when it happens. Unfortunately, it’s happened to me at least 4 times this week at work, and 3 of those times it’s triggered that “YOU ARE A BAD PERSON!” warning when you try to go to a site the company has blocked. I’ll be darned if I’m going to get in trouble for something that I didn’t ask for or want. And when I click, I’m leaving the company intranet to go to my site, so it’s not coming from the site I’m leaving.

I have an email in to their support group, but I want to know if it’s happening to anyone else out there. Just use the Jody at this domain name one, and put “pop-up” in the subject line. Thanks for your help.

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