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The Dog Has a Middle Name

When I’m yelling at the dog to get out from underneath the desk for the 100th time, I decided he needs a middle name. Because you cannot yell at someone without using their middle name. So I decided he should have the same middle name as Mr. Dump. I tried Junior’s middle name but it didn’t work for me. So now he’s got a middle name and it just works better when I’m yelling “stop eating the blinds!” or “If you don’t hurry up and poop I’m going to scream!”

Mr. Dump brought Phantom to Junior’s summer camp and some woman started yelling “I just love a little rat dog!”

Uh, thanks? How is one supposed to respond to that? “He’s not a rat dog” is probably a good start. (For the record, we always call chihuahuas rat dogs because of the Mexican Rat Dog urban legend. But Phantom is a cockapoo, not a rat dog. )

This has been a public service announcement.