The Big DumpTruck

Throwing Little Thought Pebbles at Your Windshield Since 1996

Odd Spam Pitches

I get spam, as you can imagine. Having had my own website since 96, my address has been out and about for a long, long time. A long time. I’ve been getting spam since before some of you knew what a URL was.

But there are some items that get offered via email that just don’t work for me. As in, I wouldn’t ever respond to an email offering these items, even if I was stupid enough to buy anything someone tried to sell me in an unsolicited email. So this list is things sold via email, and things offered via email, meaning it might be the bonus gift you get for doing something else.

  • Underwear. Luckily, they haven’t been trying this one for a while.
  • Peach Cobbler. I have no idea what the story is behind this one, but last week I got junk mail offering me free peach cobbler (I don’t think it was just a recipe. I believe it was the cobbler itself). I can’t think of anything I’d like less than peach cobbler mailed to me by someone I’ve never heard of.
  • Watches. Oh, right, it’s a real Rolex.
  • Designer sunglasses. Aside from wondering why people need designer sunglasses in the first place (I mean, other than for people who find themselves on the other end of the papparazzi’s cameras), who would buy them from someone sending out a random email?

Does anyone see these emails and not think “Gee, I’ll bet there’s some law enforcement-type person just waiting to nail me for buying illegal product, including illegal drugs.” Cause I really want to smack the people who are giving credit card numbers to these people. Seriously.

But more than anything, I want more information about the peach cobbler. I’m a little hungry right now.

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