The Big DumpTruck

Throwing Little Thought Pebbles at Your Windshield Since 1996

I Can’t Feel My Feet

I learned something today. I learned that just because the package says “Adult Large” on it, doesn’t mean that my arms and legs will fit in it. I’m talking about the knee and elbow pads I bought so I could go rollerblading with Junior. They do not fit. I don’t think they’ll fit Mr. Dump either, but I’m okay with it if they do fit him. I’m not okay with them not fitting me. I decided to jam them on anyway, and put up with the pain of them completely cutting off my circulation for about 15 minutes before I couldn’t stand it any more. So now I can’t go back blading until I find “Person of Size” Size. Or something. I looked at my legs, and ya, they aren’t thin, but I’ve seen muscular people with big calves too, so what do they have to buy?

Also, the skates stink. I was going to say that maybe it was me, but you know what? I think that maybe there is some connection between the skates only costing $19, and the fact that they don’t really roll so much. I think that’s something I want on a rollerblade. Rolling action.

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