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No Rest for the Wicked

Ah, the life of a contractor. Sure, we get paid a decent hourly wage, but we get no sick days or holidays or vacation days. So I don’t get paid for yesterday, and I have to work today or I won’t get paid for that either.

I’m not really complaining, I’m happy to have a job to go to in the morning. But I miss my old job, where the owner of the company would wander through the building on the Wednesday before Thanksgiving and tell everyone they could leave at 2:oopm, and we wouldn’t have to step foot back in the building before Monday.

I will say one thing, the commute was fantastic this morning. I just have to time the drive home so I will miss all the mall-aholics heading back after a day of boosting the economy.

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Shopping Rant

I’d like to take a moment to give Amazon.com half a peace sign. Now if you know me at all, you know I love Amazon. I’ve spent a LOT of money at Amazon over the years. At lunch today I went to their site to place an order for some toys, and was thrilled to see a couple of them were on sale for really good prices. I thought this was great, because I will not be able to go shopping Friday to take advantage of all the big sales because I have to work.

So I pile stuff up in my Amazon basket and go to check out. We’re talking like $300 worth of stuff, right? Mostly toys, but at least one DVD. So what pleasant surprise is waiting for me? They’ve removed the free shipping options. Items that would have had free shipping a couple of days ago now do not, because they are only offering free shipping on toys that are flagged by Toys R Us. Most of the items I am buying do not have this flag. Do you know how much they want to charge me for shipping for my 12 items? Seventy Five Dollars!!!! One item, a Matchbox car set, regularly $39, was on sale for $19. Sweet! But the shipping, if you bought this and only this? Over ten dollars! Ten dollars to ship a Matchbox Set? I want it hand-delivered tomorrow for that price!

So, Amazon and Toys R Us, what I’ve done is found the same items on other websites for about the same price, but with free shipping on orders over a certain dollar amount (no restrictions). You just lost a three hundred dollar sale because you’re trying to take advantage of parents scrambling to “help Santa” by screwing us during this festive holiday season. Thanks for nothing!

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A Very Special Thanksgiving Entry

Ah, it’s that time of year again. Because I don’t know if I’ll have time to post anything tomorrow, while I’m busy stuffing my face, I’ll get my turkey day thanks out of the way ahead of time. Now I know that usually, folks running a site like this go into a long list of things they are thankful for that mirror all the other lists. I am thankful for my health, my family, for the fact that I have a home and a job. Those are the things I’m thankful for in the privacy of my own heart: you’re just going to have to trust me on this.

But for you people, you get non-sentimental the official Big DumpTruck List of Thanks:

  • The people at Blogger, for continuing to support and enhance this product. Without it, there’s no way I’d update as often as I do. Which I’m sure is good and bad for those of you reading.
  • My Sidekick 2, without which I’d develop a twitch being away from my email all day.
  • People who are so concerned about me that they keep trying to tell me my wife is cheating on me, that I can increase the size of my manhood, and sell me discount drugs. Not to mention fake Rolexes and access to websites with pictures…well, let’s just say pictures. Thanks, spammers! And thanks for being so worried that I wasn’t getting your mail that you have started bombing the comments here on the Dump. You take time out of your busy schedule to post 25 spam messages a night, which like triples my page hit counts. That’s a lot of time you’re spending on a site that normally only gets 140 or so hits a day.
  • Barilla Pasta. You can’t overcook it!

Gosh, I could just go on and on…but I’ll end with a thanks to you guys, for continuing to visit even though I have nothing of any importance to say. You are the marshmallows on my sweet potatoes!

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Mount St. Helens


Mount St. Helens

Joan: It’s just so great that you are able to join us today. I feel honored, since you’ve been so busy lately.

Mount St. Helens: Oh, you don’t know the half of it.

June: Well, all eyes are on you these days. Care to give us some insider scoop?

MSH: Funny how I grabbed the limelight from Florida and Ohio for a while there, huh?

June: “Funny” is an interesting way to put it, I suppose.

MSH: Hey, it’s funny to me! [deep, rumbling laugh]

June: You’ve made a lot of people pretty nervous. Can you give us a hint? Will we actually see more than just steam and ash?

MSH: I really can’t comment on that. Liability issues. If I blow without warning, I retain my “Act of God” status. If I sit here and tell you to circle October 14 on the calendar, Homeland Security will be all up my butt.

June: So we’re just supposed to wait and see?

MSH: And watch me on the internet! I’ve got a live webcam. I’m an Internet celebrity! The URL is http://www.fs.fed.us/gpnf/volcanocams/msh.

June: I’m impressed! That’s very cutting edge. I don’t know why, but I didn’t expect a volcano to be quite so technologically adept.

MSH: While I’m older than dirt, I feel like I’m a child of the ’80s. I really came of age back then, got a lot of press, you know? I’ve tried to stay current since then. So yes, I’m technologically savvy. But keep ’em guessing, I always say. Will I or won’t I?

June: I think I speak for many people when I say they’d prefer that you didn’t.

MSH: Ya, they say that. But when’s the last time someone sacrificed a virgin to me? Just plopped one right in my top? I can’t even remember the last time.

June: Well, we’re not so much into that in the United States, being somewhat advanced in the areas of science and religion. Well, science anyway.

MSH: Hey, you make your choices, and I’ll make mine. A virgin once in a while is like buying a little extra insurance, you know? But hey, maybe some people are looking for a little lava. I can make concessions. Maybe over in Redmond they could name the next release of Windows after me or something. Or Starbucks could make the cup sizes “Tall, Grande and Mount St. Helens”! In fact, before they even make it official, next time you’re in Starbucks, order your CafĂ© Mocha in Mount St. Helens. Or I’ll blow ash on you.

June: Thank you, Mount St. Helens. We look forward to not hearing from you soon!

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