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Thanks, Jerk!

Oh man, am I angry this morning. I’ll jump right to the meat of it – some mouth-breathing, dog poop-eating dingleberry apparently figured my rubbish barrel was as good a place as any to use as a place to throw out his/her used motor oil. At least I think that’s what it was.

You piece of slime, here are a few quick thoughts, if you are capable of understanding more than grunts:

  • My rubbish barrel is not open to the general public. We put it down at the end of the driveway for pickup, not for dropoff.
  • It’s illegal to throw motor oil in the trash. You probably knew that when you put it in, but I’d like to know why it’s okay for my family to deal with illegal disposal of motor oil but yours isn’t? If the rubbish guys had seen this stuff, they could report me. I’m FURIOUS with you for putting me at risk. The words that fill my head are not suitable to be written here.
  • Thanks to your careful disposal, I ended up with oil all over my hands when I went to pick up the barrel after the trash guys emptied it. This is how I knew it was in there. You are beyond lucky that it didn’t get on my clothing, or on my shoes which would have been ruined. Two hands COVERED with oil was fun enough. Oh, and now I get to try to clean up any that dripped plus the inside of my rubbish barrel. I’m so freaking thrilled I’m beside myself. Turd.

And no, it wasn’t us, because a) we go to the quick lube place to get our oil changed, thank you, and b) our lawn mower doesn’t use oil and c) WE DON’T THROW USED OIL IN THE TRASH, YOU SLIMESUCKING, KNUCKLEDRAGGER!

God, I’d have given anything to see you do that and get your license plate. I’d have been happy to turn your info over to my brother-in-law the State Cop.

Okay, the rest of you can carry on and look at the nice pictures.