The Big DumpTruck

Throwing Little Thought Pebbles at Your Windshield Since 1996

Month: September, 2004

George Bush Drinking Game

Drink whenever he says “it’s hard”.

You don’t want to add any other items or you’ll get alcohol poisoning.


21 Days

21 days of work left before vacation. I don’t even care that I’m not going to get paid for a week…I’m getting a vacation! It’s been over a year since I’ve taken off more than 2 days in a row! I can’t describe to you how badly I need this time away from work…

21 Days, 21 days….I’m giddy!


New Interview Available For Your Viewing Pleasure

Hey, kids! The Daily Probe published another of my interviews. Chris has actually renamed the feature to “Still Life with Joan,” (Joan being the name I chose for the person who supposedly writes these things). That means I may remove the DP: references in the interviews themselves, because he’s going to change them to say “Joan:” and I don’t think that will work here. Anyway, it’s up and posted for you! Don’t you tell me that I don’t love you!

(Also, if any of you are switching over to the beta design for, you can add rss feeds to it, so that any time I update this site, the headline will appear in just like the headlines from AP, etc. Really, it’s cool, and I’ve already added a couple of my regular haunts to my own Yahoo. And someday maybe Natalie over at Pickle Juice will get off her butt and make an rss feed.)


A Campus Queen Lunch Box

DP: It’s back to school time again, and the Daily Probe is delighted to be able to talk with a Campus Queen lunch box! I’m so excited, I’m practically hyperventilating!

CQL: Oh, my!

DP: You were my first and only metal lunch box as a child.

CQL: I’m so honored! Did I do a good job?

DP: Absolutely! I didn’t often bring lunch to school, but whenever I used a lunch box, you were it!

CQL: I’m just happy to have helped out.

DP: We played the game on the back all the time.

CQL: What was your favorite square?

DP: Can you turn a little so I can see your back? Okay, it was probably a tie between “Earn $10 babysitting. Go to movies” or the square where you get to go steady.

CQL: Always popular. That one sent you to the dress shop.

DP: So what have you been up to for the past 37 years?

CQL: I spend a lot of time over at eBay, modeling for auctions featuring myself. As you may know, really the highlight of my career was starring in Cyndi Lauper’s Time After Time video. Her boyfriend gives me to her, and I am one of the few possessions strapped to her back when she leaves.

DP: I called all my friends to tell them my lunch box was featured in the video!

CQL: Cyndi was great to work with. I never felt like I was “just a prop” to her. I really felt like she respected me and what I brought to the video. Most people completely dismiss lunch boxes.

DP: I guess I hadn’t given it much thought.

CQL: One of my pet causes is lunch box rights. We just want to get the word out that we deserve a little dignity. If you spill something in us, clean it up! And for goodness sake, stop using us to hit other kids on the bus.

DP: Something we should all think about. So where do you go from here?

CQL: Actually, I’m on my way to a luncheon organized by the Lone Ranger lunch box. He does this annually at the beginning of the school year.

DP: Catered?

CQL: No, silly, bring your own!


How To Destroy Something in 10 Minutes

Got my upgrade/replacement Sidekick II yesterday. She’s very very nice. It didn’t come with a little wrist strap like the old one, so I removed the old wrist strap and attempted to attach it at the appropriate place on the new one. And proceeded to scratch and destroy the casing around the place where a strap would attach. And then it turned out to not fit right, so I did more damage getting it off.

There’s nothing I like better than mangling something less than 24 hours after I have it.

Now I get to make angry eyes at T-Mobile for not providing a damned wrist strap. Because without one, it’s only a matter of time before I fling it on the floor. Mr. Dump looked at the old one, which I now have to ship back, and said “Wow, you really abused this thing.” Not on purpose. But the paint was chipping and I’d actually worn the letters off some of the buttons and the menu button was kind of sticky. Yes, I use it all day, every day. I am afraid This one is due for the same type of wear and tear.

I will also take a picture with the camera and share it with you. Interestingly, the one I just mailed to myself looked WAY better on the cameras screen than it did on my computer. Huh.

Okay, here it is one for you. I didn’t adjust the color or brightness.


Is It My Breath?

For some reason, my mom’s answering machine doesn’t like me. It keeps hanging up on me. Oh sure, it’s polite enough. It thanks me for my call before cutting me off. I can’t tell if it’s because her machine is full (which seems unlikely, but you never know. Maybe they don’t erase anything, ever) or maybe I’m pausing too long between sentences. Do I have to starttalkinglikethissoitwon’tthinki’mdone?

Maybe I’ll just ask her to make sure it’s not full. I like to pause for a breath once in a while.


Do They Have to Report This?

Yesterday at about 6:30pm or so (I think – I didn’t look at my watch but I know the Sox game was already over) we were looking around at the cars at the new Saturn dealership in Fitchburg, which is maybe a mile or so from the Fitchburg airport, and I heard the sound of a plane engine suddenly change (like someone suddenly stepped on the gas) so I looked up – just in time to watch one plane cut right across the path of another, at what appeared to me to be the EXACT same altitude. I mean, I’ve seen planes fly close to each other, but this was a near-miss, no two ways about it. The sound I heard must have been the turning plane trying to speed up when it realized it was turning in front of someone. My best guess is the turning guy was circling in for a landing (taking left turns) and the other guy was taking off, because he continued on straight afterward.

I swear to God, my stomach went up into my throat when I looked up and saw those two planes no more than 100 or 200 feet from each other.

Mr. Dump, who was in a different part of the car lot than I was, confirmed that he looked up too and thought the same thing, that they were seconds from a crash. There was no mistaking how close they were to each other, and why the engine sound changed.

So were those pilots required by some sort of law to report the near miss? I certainly hope so. With all the BS going on because the Fitchburg airport doesn’t have a tower, this kind of thing MUST be on record. It should be on the pilot’s record, and the airport’s record. I am not anti-airport, but I am anti-unsafe flying, and the guy landing most definitely made a horrifically unsafe move.


Kick It

The fever is gone, so we are actually enjoying the weekend. Thank goodness! I was about done dealing with sick little boy.

So this is short because it’s a 75 degree fall day and I am not staying inside the house.


Not Quite Yet

Junior still had a fever at 2am (when he woke me to ask if he could get up to go to the bathroom. I don’t believe he’s ever asked that before – I certainly don’t think we ever told him he needed permission. Maybe he was dreaming he was at school). So no field trip to pick apples today, poor kid.

Other than that, happy Friday everyone.


Perfect Attendance Award

There will be no perfect attendance award for little Junior Dump this year. Actually, I would be completely shocked if he ever got one, just because he’s prone to getting strep throat. That and the fact that he’s going to miss 6 days of school while we are in Florida next month. Junior had a 101 fever last night, so that meant no school today. I stayed with him this morning until after I got some gruel in him, and then filled his backpack with toys for grandma’s house. Thank God for grandma, that’s all I have to say. I’ve got 5 different meetings today, so staying home with a sick child just didn’t fit my schedule. Go ahead, tell me what a bad mom I am. I know better.

Of course, ME getting sick with the same thing also will not fit in my schedule. I’m searching for Vitamin C even as we speak.