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Restaurant Review: Rainforest Cafe

Okay, not a real review, in the sense that my taste buds have been dulled by years of eating Ragu spaghetti sauce and McDonald’s products.

But here is my 11 word review, which was written as I sat in the chair by the elephant:

“My God it’s loud in here. This steak is great! Volcano!”

Can you believe I’d never been to a Rainforest Cafe before? I think this says more about me avoiding the Burlington Mall than anything. See, I had a bad car experiences there, one when I was pregnant and scraped up the side of my Jetta because the curbs are twice the size of normal curbs (I lie not – please go and see for yourself) causing $1000 worth of damage. And then when Junior was about 7 or 8 months old, we were picking up glasses (the Lenscrafters kind) and some idiot punk kid jerk rear-ended us on that horribly scary ramp to Route 128 south that you need to get on to get on Route 3 North, that has idiots zooming in from the right at a full 60mph. The kid behind us didn’t bother to notice that the car in front of us had stopped, which meant we had stopped. Everyone was fine. The Jetta wasn’t. So you can see that if I have to pick a mall, why I go with Pheasant Lane in Nashua, or Solomon Pond in Marlboro.

Where was I going with that? Oh, right, so my sister’s family eats there a lot, but it was our first time. I thought the food was really good, if it did take a long time to get to us. I hear that’s par for the place. And the bill was in the stratosphere for 6 adults and 3 kids (over $200) but we had fun for Uncle Buff’s birthday, and that’s all that matters.

Rating: A for food, B- for speed of service, A for the waitstaff, D for prices. Oh, and D for the bathroom cleanliness, but to their credit, someone came in to clean them as we were leaving. But I’ve never seen more toilet paper on the floor in any bathroom anywhere. Could be due to the average patron age hovering near 5.

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