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Dear White Trash,

If you can’t afford to leave the waitress a tip, don’t take your three children (I think they were all yours, none of them looked like you) out to a restaurant to eat. Period. I know it was only Friendlies, but I’m guessing that you could rustle up Kraft Macaroni and Cheese and French Fries for a bit less money than you paid for your youngest daughter’s meal.

When you jumped up out of the booth with your food in your hand and your kids had to figure out how to carry all their stuff, I asked Mr. Dump if he thought you were leaving or just moving to another table, because your movements seemed a bit unusual. Three minutes later the waitress came to clear and stated to the hostess, who was seating someone else, “I got stiffed again.”

I hope to God she only meant the tip. If you bolted on the whole bill, you are doing worse than stealing, you are teaching three children that it’s an okay thing to do. It’s not like the waitress makes a fortune, it’s Friendlies for goodness sake.

I am not going to comment at all about the makeup of your family, my thoughts about your situation, or what have you. None of my business, and I’m sure there are plenty of similar families who have decent values. But I’d better never see you eating with your kids in another restaurant I’m in, or I *will* say something to you. Loudly.

And I gave the waitress a $5 tip on a $20 check to make up some of the difference, because she works too hard for her $2 an hour, and it’s not her fault you are a total loser.


The person in the next booth