Posted in Uncategorized

More Junior Stories

My son is apparently the greatest source of amusement my sister has in her life. Quite recently she had to walk away from us because she was laughing so hard she had to go to the bathroom. That was at the mall, where the three kids were picking out clothes for their new stuffed pals at Pawsandclaws or whatever that make-your-own bear place is. Junior had a monkey. His first outfit of choice? A tuxedo (which is funny – a monkey in a monkey suit, but I don’t think he knows any formalwear jokes so it probably wasn’t for that reason). When I nixed that, he went for blue silk pajamas. I forced a pair of jeans and a fleece vest on the monkey for day wear, and told Junior to get some shoes for him. He came back with brown loafers. I think that’s the point where my sister had to walk away. In the meantime, my niece was putting a J-Lo velour track suit on her kitty, and my nephew a camouflage outfit on a lion. I’ve got the kid picking out silk pjs and loafers. (Which we eventually swapped for sneakers.)

He’s a good kid, brilliant, loving, sweet, friendly, funny, smart (really!)…and yet…last night at her house he came out of her bathroom holding his ear, because he’d hit it on her toilet paper holder. Both my sister and I had the shoulder-shaking silent laughter going on. I actually had to make him show me how he did it, because there was no way on earth I could imagine how a male, standing to pee, could hit his ear on the toilet paper holder. (It involved peeking around the shower curtain to look in her tub, apparently.)

He also has a tendency to remove articles of clothing (what kid doesn’t?) but then he swings the item in his hand. It makes him look like a stripper. He did that in her kitchen last night, for no apparently reason, and while she tried to control a giggle fit, I could only say “If you’re going to be a stripper, just make sure you’re the best stripper you can be! I just want you to be happy!” in my best “mom” tone of voice. Which made her laugh harder.

I don’t really want him to be a stripper, by the way. I’ve got at least 12 years to get him interested in something else.