The Big DumpTruck

Throwing Little Thought Pebbles at Your Windshield Since 1996

Month: January, 2004

Why So Creepy?

Jeepers, people I turn my back for one day and you all show up looking, apparently, for a picture of the world’s largest tumor. I don’t have one. Never did. I mentioned it on my website once, years ago, but that’s it. And today, for some reason, my referrer logs are full of people who got here via search engines who matched me up with the tumor phrase mentioned above.

If one of you could take a moment and let me know why so many of you are suddenly searching for that, I’d be thrilled. Thank you!

P.S. Here’s a little something for future searchers: world’s Ugliest Spleen.

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I Could Use Some Florida

I think my biorhythms are low today.

– Before I continue, do people even know what biorhythms are any more, or have they fallen out of the feel-good vernacular? I remember as a kid, taking the bus to the Fitchburg Public Library (even though we lived in Leominster, because my mom grew up in Fitchburg and that’s where she took us). Across the street (I think – or am I getting it confused with Espresso Pizza? I thought it was next to the hobby shop) there was a place with a machine that would read your biorhythms for a quarter and then give you a report on a printout that looked suspiciously like the cards that popped out of the Bat Computer. Which, of course, was probably what drew me to it. I remember it drew lines on the card for a certain period of time, and where the lines crossed were the critical times. If all three crossed up above the zero line, that was a GOOD day. If they crossed below, well, stay home and in bed. Does that sound right? So what I’m talking about when I say a low biorhythm day where the streams are all crossing [Ghostbusters reference, I know] at a low point. Got it? That’s as much as I can give you today, because I think my biorhythms are low. Which brings us full circle. –

So what was I saying? Well, anyway, if they are low, it gives me an excuse to be cranky and blue, right? Cause I am. Little things are getting to me, and I don’t want to blame it on PMS (I could), but instead on an overall low physical and emotional biorhythm. Which doesn’t mean I’m sick, it just means keep an eye out, right? I hunted down a site that will do it for you for free. Let’s see if I’m right. I went to Care2.com and entered my birthdate. My emotional and intellectual are crossing the zero line headed downward. The intellectual one today, in fact. And the text at the top says “Cycles above that midpoint are positive, and cycles below the midpoint are negative. A critical day occurs when your biorhythm cycles cross the zero line on the ascent or descent. On critical days, performance in the affected cycles might be particularly poor.” Well there you go. I’m passing zero on intellectual today. I passed zero on Emotional yesterday. Not saying there’s anything to this, but it is interesting to play with anyway.

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Skippy

I missed posting yesterday, in at least two of the definitions for the word “missed”. I’m wondering if there are more than two, but for what matters, I “missed” posting here. I could have, but no time, no energy, strange lack of something to say.

“But,” you respond, “that hasn’t stopped you before.”

“Well,” I counter, “your inability to see how important every word that flows from my fingertips is, does not mean I’m not saying something important. Look within yourself, not at me.”

“Sure, blame us.”

“You aren’t looking within yourself, you’re looking at me. I told you, stop looking at me, or I’ll tell mom.”

“Go ahead, tell her.”

“I’ll do it.”

“So do it.”

“I will.”

“Ya?”

“MOOOOOOOOOOOOOM!”

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Monday is Pants Day

I think if Dr, King were alive…well wait, if he were alive he wouldn’t have a Federal Holiday, I’m pretty sure. Okay, ignoring that, I think he’d be really happy that I celebrated the day shopping for pants.

I think my immediate pants crisis is in check, and I can focus on 1-2 sweaters, and then I can buy clothes like a normal person. Dropping two pant sizes last year was nice but it blew up my wardrobe, y’know? I am just trung to rebuild basics, like now I want a black sweater. You’d think I’d have one of those, but the one I did have swims on me now. Looks messy for work, really.

I’d fill my wish list with clothing I’d like, cause it’s my birthday next week and all…but if I put the size down, once you saw it. I’d have to kill you.

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HOT DAMN!

Holy Cannoli, time to start the shopping list for February 1st!

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Goooooo Pats!

It’s too early in the game for me to be so optimistic, right? It’s 10 to 0 as I write this, Manning has already thrown two interceptions which must be a little distracting to him. It’s downright balmy out compared to their last game.

Junior’s bowling party was a huge success. I think all the kids had a great time, no injuries reported, and this marks the first time in three parties Junior hasn’t sprung a nosebleed. I think using the Ocean spray daily has solved the problem, for the most part. It’s also 100% humidity outside, if I read the weather report correctly, compared to the 10% or so it was last week. (Well, that’s how it FELT anyway).

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You’d Think It Would Be Easier

I’ve spent the last half hour searching for decent photos of the Ninja Storm power rangers to use as a model for the birthday cake we have to decorate. Specifically we’re looking for the green ranger, because that is Junior’s favorite. He was the green one for Halloween. There are amazingly few photos on the internet, or at least, amazingly few of the Ninja Storm PR’s and even fewer of the Green Samurai PR. Sheesh.

It is interesting to see what’s out there, and to note that if you have a public website and you take a picture of your roommate and somehow refer to him as a Power Ranger, it might be the result when someone does a Google image search. I’m just saying.

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Backfired

I thought I was soooo clever. Ha. One of us is clever and it isn’t me.

Junior looked tired. He went to be really late last night, but I figured that was okay because today is Saturday. HA. He came in and woke me up at 6:30, which is early for him, never mind when he doesn’t fall asleep until 10pm!

He also had swimming this morning, which tires him out. I told him he should take a rest. He didn’t want to. Okay, well, then your options are to help me clean or take a rest. We have a lot of cleaning on the agenda, including his room. Guess who went to take a nap so now I can’t clean because the majority of what I need to do involves his room and the room next to it?

Well, maybe God wants ME to nap too. It could happen…

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Looking for that Eric Heenan Entry?

I see a couple of you are looking for my previousEric Heenan entry here. He’s the traffic guy in the morning on WXLO. I’m sure the sudden interest is related to the fact that SUDDENLY the man’s voice is COMPLETELY different, and they are saying it’s because of the equipment he uses to broadcast. I’m not convinced. I don’t think it would change is voice THAT much. I’m trying to listen to the phrasing, etc. to see if the “content” of the report matches what it normally is. I haven’t heard anything yet that made me say “Oh, Eric used to say that all the time, it really MUST be him.”

This is, to a lesser extent, similar to the WBZ radio sneaky bastige attempt to fool us into thinking that Gary LaPierre, the cornerstone morning anchor for *mumble* years, was reporting from Boston yesterday. Apparently some time ago he struck a deal that during the winter, two weeks of EVERY MONTH he broadcasts from Florida. Defenders say “who cares where he’s doing it” but I say it’s deceptive and sneaky and if it was no big deal why wasn’t it known until yesterday? Why hide it? What kind of integrity is that?

So if the traffic reporter is named Bob, why call him Bill or Frank or Eric?

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The Measure of a Successful Day

1. The pipes stayed intact

2. The heat stayed on

3. The car started

4. It’s payday

So right away, I’m having a successful day, by any measure.

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