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Dear Mouth-Breather

Let me give you a little hint. If you are going to drive during commuting hours (which I declare are between 6:30am and 9:00am) you had best get your ass in gear and learn what it means when you are waiting to take a turn into traffic and someone stops and flashes their headlights at you. Yes, you stupid monkey, they are trying to send you a message. That message is “you have 10 seconds to start moving your car out in front of mine before I change my mind and leave you there so that you can sit and rot in your own filth.”

How can you drive on the road today, and not know that if a car stops and flashes their headlights at you that it means “go ahead, I’m going to be nice and let you in.” HOW CAN YOU NOT? Don’t stare at me as if you left your brain soaking in a glass next to your bed. Pay freaking attention, and the MOMENT you see the lights flash, check the other direction and then GO. Don’t stare. Don’t make me flash my lights at you again. And again. Because you know what? You may as well just put your teeny little head under my tires and let me put you out of your misery.

I’ll be nice, but not to stupid people. If you can’t handle it, stay home.