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A Little Insight Into Jodyland

Okay, normally I wouldn’t post anything here that makes me look outrageously freaky or odd. Because I’m using my website as a way to build a whole world of people who worship me, and would do anything I ask just because I’m me. Either that or try to find a date once in a while. Anyway, I’m going to be honest with you, because as I pulled things from the dryer, I became more incredulous with every passing moment.

I think I should have done laundry earlier, because obviously I’m too tired to handle it. I pulled the following items out of the dryer just now:

1 nickel

4 ones

1 five

1 ten

2 pens (one leaked, one didn’t)

a little ball of tissues

2 tampons

1 pack of gum (held together pretty well, I didn’t end up with gum all over everything)

You can see how close I came to absolutely destroying everything in the load. Actually, I spotted the ink (purple) on Junior’s Wiggles t-shirt, but it looked like some kind of juice so I soaked it in the sink (Oxy-Cleaned it) instead of putting it in the dryer. That’s when I found the gum, when I was transferring things. I looked through everything else and didn’t see any other ink stains, so I just turned the dryer on.

The money appeared after the clothes were dry. I can see finding a few ones, or the five, but nineteen dollars and five cents? I should have noticed that. (Hell, why wasn’t I worried that I was missing almost twenty dollars? I’m not made of money here!) The pens and the tampons had to be in a canvas purse-thingy I was washing to take to Cow Hampshire with me. I had checked the inside pocket and pulled out some lip balm and some small papers. I didn’t notice there was an outside pocket, though. (Which wasn’t unzipped, so the loose purple pen must have been on the inside and I just missed it. The maroon pen in the zipped pocket faired much better, and didn’t leak at all.) Oh, and I’m just going to tell you that once you run tampons through a wash and dry cycle, you’re pretty much never ever getting them out of the applicator. Not that I tried, mind you, but I could tell by looking.

So that’s my “adventures in laundry” for this evening. Next time I make sure I get a good meal and a nap ahead of time.