The Big DumpTruck

Throwing Little Thought Pebbles at Your Windshield Since 1996

Loser of the Century

A special Big DumpTruck note to the wench in the silver Nissan minivan (I have your plate number but I think I should refrain from posting it here) who got on Route 2 at the Route 70 entrance: If you EVER pull out onto Route 2 like that again, I hope your will is in order and your children are prepared to be orphans. I have never seen such stupidity on the road, and I’ve seen a LOT of stupidity. The woman you popped out in front off should be given some kind of reward for

a) Not slamming into the side or back of your van, given that she was only about 20 feet away from you when you pulled out clear in the middle of her lane

b) Not jumping into MY lane, which would have inconvenienced me because I was actually driving almost parallel with her.

You stupid stupid piece of guano. (I’d use the really great derogatory term I learned over on blogdaddy.com, but this is a family site). IF you feel you must pull out, why not wait more than 5 seconds after you pull up to the stop sign to actually look to see if there is any kind of opening coming up. But here’s the important thing, jerkface. If you insist on pulling out anyway, stay in the frigging breakdown lane until you come up to speed.

You are not the only person on the road, and you’re lucky several of us didn’t force you off it and beat you senseless for that stupid move. Yes, I’m still angry about it 5 hours later, because I know you could have KILLED one of us, not to mention shut down the highway screwing up everyone else’s commute. Because you are too freaking important to actually have to wait to pull out onto the highway. Stupid [Expletive Deleted].

Oh, and one last thing. Yes, your long brown hair sure was beautiful. Do us all a favor and keep your eyes on the road instead of looking at yourself in the mirror, you narcissistic beee-yotch. You’ve only been on the highway 30 seconds. Didn’t you check your hair before you left the house?

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