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Dear Tinky Winky,

I just wanted to drop a note in support now that you've been outed by Jerry Falwell.  You see, I'm a big fan, and so is my son Michael. He's 13 months old.  He would watch you, Dipsy, Laa-Laa and Po all day long if he could. I'm pretty sure if you guys sold a long enough video tape I could put one in, go to work, and he would never miss me. As soon as he learns where we keep the Cheerios, I'm no longer needed.  But I digress.

Tink, (May I call you Tink?) it's been obvious to me for a long while that you are as much a masculine role model as Barbie's boyfriend Ken. But you know what? You're a television character. And an alien at that. If you want to carry a "magic bag" more power to you. I'm sure Dipsy would smack the crap out of you if you tried anything anyway. And if not Dipsy, who? In your world, there are only the four of you.

What I'm trying to say Tink, is that I'd like to smack Jerry Falwell upside the head with your magic bag.  This man is wasting his time and energy on something that only one and two year olds watch. And I guarantee you that my son will not make any life decisions based on watching the same episode of Teletubbies over and over (and over) again. He seems to be much more interested in the laughing baby and the kids looking for their beach ball and that little dog (what are those kids calling it? Jessle? Jesso?) than he is in the segment where you happily dance in a tu-tu. I think one is a little too young for me to tell him that boys can't store Tubby Toast in a bag for later.  I'm thinking Mr. Falwell should leave the Teletubbies alone and go back to looking for naked breasts in single cells of Disney movies. After all, it's not like he should be busy trying to end world hunger and suffering. He's got to raise money from his followers so that he can embarrass himself in the press and cry all the way to the bank.

And Tinky Winky, feel free to wear the skirt.

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The Fine Folks at the Big DumpTruck


© 2001 Jody LaFerriere.
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