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Happy Birthday, America!

I didn’t get you a present. I got you a card but I couldn’t find it this morning. I asked my son to make one for you because everyone loves a card made by a child but he started drawing robots and Pokemon and eventually it looked nothing like a birthday card with all the eraser shavings.

So I don’t have a card or a present or cake, because I threw out all the cake mixes a couple of weeks ago. Did you know they have a date stamped on the bottom and when they hit about 2 years past the date on the bottom of the box you are really probably not supposed to make them. I think it has something to do with not wanting to get sick and die from eating elderly cake mix. Or something.

In your honor, I did wash out the inside of my rubbish barrel today. Oh, and I put more windshield washer fluid in the car. As you can see, it’s been a very busy morning for me. Happy birthday, I hope you have as awesome a day as I’m having!

P.S. I don’t really like having your birthday on a Saturday. Can we try to avoid this in the future? Thanks.

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Posted in coolness, humor, lists

Saint Jody Day

Some very good friends of mine declared today to be Saint Jody Day. (Back when I was still married, it was my wedding anniversary. This was a way to celebrate the day without focusing on not being married any more. Perfect!) Who am I to argue? I thought I should pass along info about the holiday in case you too want to celebrate. It doesn’t have to be a big flashy SJD celebration, mind you, but there are a few traditions which I am starting and should be followed by all celebrants.

1. The eating of the crispy bacon. This year, SJD falls on a Friday, so it is bacon day. But henceforth, every St. Jody’s Day shall be baconified.
2. The listening of 80s music. Oh yes. Every Karma Chameleon will Wang Chung tonight.
3. The wearing of the green pants. This is a toughie. This will weed out the wannabes. And yes, olive counts as green.
4. The accepting of offerings from the masses. You know, if there is a mass and it wants to offer something, I will accept it.
5. The writing with the purple pen. St. Jody only uses two types of mass-produced pen, both available at area retailers. Either the Pilot Precise V5, or the Pilot Easytouch (Harder to find in purple – I, however, have one.)

Go forth and have fun!

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Wearing of the Hat

When I dropped Junior off at his “before school” care program, a little kid, maybe in the first grade, ran up to him.

“How come you aren’t wearing a hat like mine?” The hat in question was a green plastic leprechaun hat covered with green glitter. It was truly a thing of beauty, probably the nicest green plastic leprechaun hat you can buy at a party store. My son just stared at the boy.

“Where is your hat? And where is your shirt like mine?” Junior was wearing a green shirt, but it did not say “Kiss me I’m Irish” with a fuzzy shamrock in the middle.

“Ya, where is your hat?” I asked my son in an accusatory tone, in support of the short child in front of us.

Junior just looked at me.

“You should be wearing a hat.” The small boy smiled at me.

“I don’t have a hat like that,” Junior explained to him.

“You should totally get one.” I told him as the small boy and I nodded conspiratorially. “It’s a really awesome hat.”

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