The Big DumpTruck

Throwing Little Thought Pebbles at Your Windshield Since 1996

Tag: family

Happy birthday JPDLF!

Step-Junior turned 17 today and that means cakeses for everyone. We loves us some cakeses. As birthday boy he got to choose the flavor, so we had spice cake with cream cheese frosting.

Wednesday is Mr. Dump’s birthday so maybe we will have brand new cake in two days. I wonder what flavor he’ll pick?

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The Story of the Little Hamster that The Mom of the House Threatened to Kill

Izzy is cute, that’s for sure. She should get down on her knees and thank the good Lord above that she is, and that I love my son, her owner, because she would have been released into the snowy wild this morning if I had my way.

You see, in the middle of the night I had to go and move her cage because she had decided to move all of her bedding and a lot of her food into the “wheel” section of her cage. And when she decided to run in it in the middle of the night, all the bedding fell back out into the tube and left only the seeds, which rattled around as she ran. And ran. And ran. It was like someone shaking a pair of maracas.

So at one in the morning, I stumbled downstairs with the cage, shoved stuff out of the way and put the cage on the counter. I then stumbled back upstairs to try to fall back to sleep.

This morning Mr. Dump broke the news to me that I hadn’t pushed things quite far enough out of the way, and Izzy spent a large portion of the night chewing through the strap of a [discontinued] Vera Bradley purse that she had pulled in through the wire of the cage.

I am so very very very angry with her. There had better be a letter of apology on the door of her cage when I get home tonight.

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10 Years Ago in BigDumpTruck History

You know, I was all excited about dipping in to the archives to pull out some quotes from 10 years ago, but 10 years ago the Dump was sort of in transition and half the content was hand-edited and some but not all was on blogger, and the end result is that a lot of my content was lost when I moved from my ISP and they deleted a bunch of my files on me before I could copy them. Which is the long, round-about way of saying “Happy 10th Birthday” to Junior, who made his first appearance on “Mookie’s Driver Training Page” way back in the day. (Those pages are, sadly, part of history.)

If any of you are obsessed fans who laboriously saved every word I wrote to your hard drive, I’d be more than happy to have a copy of the archives. You know, as long as it wouldn’t involve me having to have personal contact with anyone who would have laboriously saved every word I wrote to their hard drive.

Junior and Step-Junior went for a morning of skiing with Mr. Dump, who will just be watching. I am as sick as a dog today, and am hoping to feel good enough to continue the birthday celebrations after they get home near lunchtime. Wish me luck!

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First Person Narrative

Junior has to write an essay over the weekend. His first big-boy homework! The subject is “My First ____”. They had to brainstorm ideas for a topic, then they had to fill in a sheet that basically was a way of drafting the essay. He was actually pretty far along with it already, so I have no doubt this one is in the bag.

His essay is “My First Red Sox Game” which happened to occur a month or so ago. That’s right, my son, the nine year old, had never been to a game, mostly because it’s impossible to get tickets. These were the crappy seats you get for free (one game) when you join Red Sox Nation.

Anyhoo, he and I got to talking about First Person Narratives that you just don’t want to read. He and I started a list, and I will continue it for you.

My First Diaper Rash
The First Time I Ate Peas
My First Poo
The First Time I Watched Blue’s Clues
My First Big Boy Underwear

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A Hittable Pitch? PSYCH!

Way to go, Buchholz. We’ll try to give you a little room, and not be too harsh if you falter a bit in your next start, but we are looking forward to VERY GOOD THINGS from you. Okay?

I’ll even forgive you for being called up so that there was no chance I would see you start at my first Pawsox game yesterday. (Holy crap, what a great place to see a game. Even though we got creamed by the Scranton Yankees. Even though our seats were in the middle of the row and the people on the ends didn’t have a firm grasp on the art of letting people by.) Next year we will definitely grab more tickets earlier in the season. And I can’t say that the fun of the day didn’t have anything to do with the family we went with – thanks P, L, A and C for a lovely day!

Junior (and the other two boys) got the Pawsox team baseball cards, so we have the Buchholz card front and center today.

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Me and My Wide Stance

Senator Craig says he has a wide stance, and that’s why when he sits on the toilet in a men’s room, his foot goes all the way under the door and touches the foot of the person sitting next to him.

I have to tell you, I tried to do this at work (the other stall was empty) and I almost fell off the toilet.

I am starting to think that maybe, just maybe, Senator [as of this minute] Craig may just be creating what we at the Dump House like to call “a story.” Every once in a while Junior tries to pass off a story to cover up whatever he is doing/has done and my standard response is “do I look stupid to you?” That’s the point where he comes clean.

I’m thinking that I should start writing outright lies about my life. You know, to spice things up. And if anyone calls me on it, I’ll explain it’s because I have a wide stance.

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