*Big DumpTruck*

Quote of the Night

"Nature's bounty gives me gas."
- Mandark, from Dexter's Lab

Real life quote of the night:
"Remember tomorrow when we're cranky that it's because we haven't gone to bed yet."
- Junior, from my house

Cut it Out, TimeLife!

Man, I keep seeing the commercial for "Worship Together" - the best of modern Christian music. I know what you're thinking, but hey, remember, I'm a big Michael W. Smith fan. And there are always my Veggie Tales CDs. Anyway, I don't want to get locked into a music club, especially not a Contemporary Christian one, but I really want those two CDs for $10. Every song snippet in the commercial has grown on me. Amazing stuff.

Anyway, I'm going to try to avoid going to timelife.com until this urge passes.

Enough Already!

Okay, I just have to cut down on the caffeine, kids. Today's tally:

Mowing the lawn (front and back)
Washing the wood floor in the living room
2 loads of laundry

What the hell is my problem? Can't I just goof off or something? What kind of example am I setting for the boy?

Well, I've Seen Worse

I was feeling pouty today so I treated Junior to a copy of Stitch, the Movie to cheer us up. I went into this expecting the worst, and it's not the worst so I'm actually happy. Man, I love that Lilo character. She's my favorite Disney female after Mulan. Maybe tied with Dori from Finding Nemo. Oh Oh Oh, and Boo from Monster's Inc. Okay, those are the top ones though.

If this all works out, maybe I can convince Junior that for our next vacation we should go to Hawaii instead of Florida/WDW.

What Got Into Me?

Well, wasn't I productive today? We got up, headed to the post office, then the grocery store. Then I washed all the floors, read some of my mail, then decided if I cleaned out the spare bedroom, I could move some of the toys up there. I'd rather them be upstairs than in the basement right now (I'm already heating the upstairs - last year I think my increased heating costs were related to junior playing with his computer down there).

So now I'm wiped, and I'm STILL waiting for people to call me back. I'm assuming that I'm not going to be doing any visiting with my family today, given that they've all disappeared off the face of the earth. Sheesh, you'd think they had their own lives or something.

p.s. The lawn in the back yard is mocking me. I won't give in and mow it. I won't.

3 Daze

No, I don't have special plans, thanks for asking. Again. And again. Listen people, how exciting do you think my life is? I took Wednesday off to go to an amusement park, isn't that enough? You can't get blood from a stone, and you can't get wads of cash from my bank account.

Okay, kidding, but geez, at least 5 people have asked me that today.

"No, I'm a big loser. I have a week's worth of laundry to wash because I've been gone almost every night this week learning how to bandage around embedded objects. Oh, and if you get a pencil in your eye, even though I know how to stabilize it, don't bother asking me to because I'm just going to block my ears, close my eyes and sing "la la la I can't hear you". Gah. The 3rd degree burn portion of the Red Cross video was meant to give major nightmares. People, please...if you are working the fry machine, just do us all a favor and keep your arms out of it. Thanks.

I Give You the Moon

Here ya go...more later, I'm late... (no, just late for work)

In Retrospect...

I think the temporary tattoo I bought yesterday is too big. Actually, the one I'd picked out was little, but the guy could only find the big one in all the drawers, so I said fine. It's a lovely moon, sort of astrologically in nature, even though I'm not into that stuff very much. It just seemed better than the Chinese character for "anger" or "lunch".

Junior got Spongebob and wanted it on his hand. If we all thought like kids, we'd only have tattoos on the backs of our hands. Do they ever put them anywhere else without prodding from an adult?

I got mine above my ankle, cause that's where all the cool girls get theirs. Actually, I look at it as paying $4 to have some guy hold my leg and rub lightly. It was almost a date!

So this thing should last 2 weeks if you don't do anything. From experience, I expect it to look decent for a day or so more. But it's bigger than I feel comfortable wearing out in public in places that are not amusement parks, you know?

When I get home I'll take a picture of it with the digital camera for all of you. And then I'll rake in the hits from the foot fetishists looking for the words "ankle tattoo" and "man holding leg"

Oriented

Last night - CPR from 6pm to 10pm. So far I'm certified in Adult and child, tomorrow night (6 to 10 again...yuck) we do infant and first aid. Feel free to NOT need CPR around me, although I do feel strangely powerful with these skills. I just don't want to have to ever use them. I think fear kept me from ever taking a CPR course. I didn't want to have to do it in front of everyone. Fear of screwing up, etc. Well, the two people I was paired with actually made me look like a professional EMT, if you get my drift. If I ever pass out from choking, please God let someone else know how to handle it.

==

This morning we took Junior to Kindergarten orientation. We met his teacher, and it turns out I know her...after her whole presentation to us, I did that "You look so familiar" thing. When she said she graduated in 82 (from my high school) I placed her immediately - she's one of my cousin's closest friends - they all graduated the year ahead of me. I don't think I have the yearbook from that year or I'd find her to show Junior.

I was completely overcome with emotion this morning during the orientation, and not for the "normal" reasons. Walking into that building just ripped my heart right out of my chest and put it out for everyone to see. Oh my GOD it's just the same in so many ways! And stupid things like walking into his room and realizing that I was only a year older than him when I first started at that same school - his room was my first grade classroom, and the coat hooks in the hall are the SAME ONES FROM WHEN WE WERE THERE! I mean, these are original, my GRANDMOTHER may have used one when SHE was his age too. The school was built in 1894. Looking at it as an adult I'm in awe of these ornate tin ceilings and all the woodwork. As a ex-student there from 1971-1977, I wanted to run around screaming and pointing to things. "That's where the piano used to be!" "I know what that big vent up there sounds like when they let the chain go to close it!" etc. etc. Totally wasted on Junior. And it just kept hitting me over and over again, in so many little ways. Hell, 6 years of your life when you're 12 is half of it. I spent half of my known life at that point in those rooms, 5 days a week. And I hadn't been back in about 25 years (my sister was there for two years after me, so I may have gone in at least once in that time).

So anyway, I really don't think it was me being emotional about him not being my baby anymore (I've been fairly depressed about that all summer, it's not like it would just hit me this week all of a sudden.) But oh my God, being in that school...wow.

Anyway...I had already taken today as a vacation day and earlier this week I'd been telling Mr. Dump that I was considering taking Jr. to Canobe Lake Park (medium-sized amusement park less than an hour from home...I LOVE this park) because we hadn't been yet this year, and I love amusement parks, plus I figured kids would be starting back at school, so maybe it would be a good time to go. Then this morning I was thinking I should stay home and get some work done, so it was probably good that I hadn't told junior anything. Well, we all went out to breakfast before the orientation and Junior starts with the "Mama, remember that time you took me to this place...blah blah blah...." it takes me a couple of minutes to realize that he's describing...Canobe Lake Park. I swear to you, I never ever mentioned anything about it to him. Mr. Dump just looked at me, shook his head with a look that said "He may look like me, but he's so you."

We both came up with the same place? Must be an omen! So we spent the day up there, stayed a little TOO late, of course, and I just got back at about 9pm. I'm wasted. If I didn't plan to keep this note as a record for my "Junior files" I probably wouldn't have stayed up to write it. Sun and hot and walking for 8 hours and I'm ready for bed.

So that's our day. Oh, really ODD thing...I realized that I made the exact SAME mistake last year, thinking that the kids starting school would make the park attendance light. I just checked my blog archives, and while I missed a day of posting, if you read the ones for 8/27 and 8/29 , you'll see that it's when I went to the beach and Canobe Lake. That's right, the Wednesday of last year, which would have been the 28th. Basically the SAME FREAKING DAY. Oh, and last year we ran into my sister's neighbor up there around dinner time. Around dinner time this year? We met HER OTHER NEIGHBOR. I swear to God, it was actually almost spooky. I mean really, are the odds that low? She only has two real neighbors (one to the left and one across the street/to the right because it's a cul de sac). Gee, maybe next year my sister will make it! Oh wait, he'll be in school all day next year. *pout*. Well, hey, it is open from noon to ten until after labor day.

Someone just remind me next August to not go up there THIS week? Thanks.

Snacky Snack?

I'm in a hungry kind of mood. I hate that. Actually, I'm taking a first aid class from 6 to 10pm so I figure anything I eat now will count toward my food requirement for getting through the evening. What the hell was I thinking? And it's 6 to 10 again on Thursday! I hope to heaven there's a chance that we'll get out of there early. I mean, I'm just not used to sitting in a class for that long. What if I get those blood clots like you get from sitting long periods of time? Someone will have to do first aid on me!

I also was turned away from trying to donate blood today. I'm bummed. I was just a little too anemic for them. Actually, he said my numbers weren't low enough to qualify for anemic, but they were low enough that I couldn't donate. Boogers. I need to be better about my multi-vitamin, and maybe I'll treat myself to some red meat more often. Maybe a little more spinach and green beans and I can make another try next time they're here. They come at least once every two months.

I used to be fairly anemic years ago, but I thought I'd gotten it under control. Well, at least I tried to donate, right?

Elvis is my Chao

You all have a Chao, right? You do play Sonic Adventure 2 Battle for the GameCube. There are all these adventure levels, and then there is the Chao Garden portion of the game where you raise these little creatures. Sure, you're supposed to be raising them to race against other Chao, or to do Karate, but really, we're just raising them because it's fun. So Junior has about 8 of them running around in the three gardens, one of them we made evil and named Satan, but Elvis is mine. Whenever I play the regular game and get robot parts or small animals, I give them all to Elvis. He recently learned to swim when I gave him a dolphin. Satan already knew how to swim, but I just can't claim the little evil one as my own.

For the record, we apparently also raised a neutral one. I thought they either ended up heroes (with a halo to show they are good) or dark (with a kind of a spiky circle) but this one was started off dark and then we changed our minds and were nice to it. But I guess it wasn't enough because after he transformed he....was neither. So that's cool.

And most of you didn't understand a word of what I said. But if you did, drop me a line. We want to finished the 3rd section of the 1st level (find the missing chao) but the only one of our characters that has mystic melody is the girl, and she doesn't play the first level. Can you give something like that to another character?

A Little To the Right..Thanks.

Hey, it's not like I wasn't trying. Full day of work, pick up the kid, make dinner, play a little, go out to mow the lawn before it gets dark (and don't be mistaken, it gets dark way earlier than I want it to, damn it).

That's cool, I'm mowing. I'm even mowing in straight lines. Life is good. But ahead, I see a sprinkler head start up, right near the property line. No problem, it's not windy. So I'm mowing...mowing...and the water is actually shooting over onto my lawn. Which is kind of cool because hey, I wasn't watering it. If she wants to pay to automatically water my lawn for me, I'm not going to complain. Unless I'm standing there trying to mow the lawn. You see, I have an electric mower, which by definition is less powerful than the gas versions. So not only is there a big label that says not to use it in the rain, I know for a fact there's no way my mulching efforts are going to work on grass that was already pushing the limits on length for mulching, but is now wet. Yea.

I cannot leave the lawn half done so like an idiot, I just keep walking in and out of the lightly falling water. Cause I'm a mowing fool.

Pier 1 imports Products

Here are links to the new bookshelf and the end table (one door cabinet).

The cabinet matchs a desk they have, the only problem being that I think it's half an inch too big for the space where I intend to put a desk. This is unfortunate because the style of the desk would go great with how I'm picturing the eventual redecoration of the whole room - pale yellow with pale green and white accents.

Unfortunately, it won't be a case of letting it overhang something - I'm planning to put the desk in the alcove space where the window is on the cape, so there are actual walls on both sides. So no, it's not very flexible unless I want to trim off part of the desk.

I Give This Day Two Thumbs Up

77 to 80 degrees, nice breeze, blue sky, a few puffy clouds, found two shirts, a bookcase, a bedside table and groceries. Towels are in the machine, we just came back from a walk/bikeride (he rode, I walked, duh) and I should do the lawn but I'm going to put that off. Sure I have a hellish week ahead of me at work, but today, it's allllllll good.

Okay, he wants to go for more walk/bikeride. I think we can do that.

Can't It Be For a Different Reason?

As much as I enjoy seeing Yahoo! Leominster make the news, I'd rather it not be attached to a story titled "Pedophile Ex-Priest Killed in Prison."

No, really. I don't care if it is the number one story on both the Reuters and AP feeds on Yahoo right now. I'd prefer it to be because we got the nod for the 2020 Olympics. Cause, you know, we're gonna put a ballpark on top of the old landfill, so it could happen. But no...we make the news from plane crashes and dead pedophiles. I think maybe it's time for the locals to band together and try to make the world's biggest vat of applesauce, cause you know, Johnny Appleseed was born here. Or maybe we can get one of the local kids to win the National Spelling Bee. Gotta get to work on that, people.

Davezilla Rocks My World

Love his site, but especially love when he picks on Jakob Nielsen. This week we cover the (Jakob) Nielsen Ratings, which includes a review of my current favorite show, Queer Eye for the Straight Guy

Ripped from the Headlines: Fox Bid to Block Franken Book Rejected

Dear Fox News:

Are you on crack? Not only do you file a stupid suit that states people will trick consumers into believing you're somehow behind this book (gee, thanks for giving us so much credit), but you use the suit to personally attack Franken? ARE YOU INSANE? Any small amount of credibility you were gaining has now been flushed down the toiled, just like your suit.

Stupid! Stupid stupid!

My ISP is finally filtering out all the viruses from the emails coming in to their server (I could tell because all those emails now have "{virus?} appended to the front of the subject, which wasn't there yesterday)

So the mail gets in your box. What does it say?
---------------
Warning: This message has had one or more attachments removed
Warning: (your_details.pif).
Warning: Please read the "VirusWarning.txt" attachment(s) for more information.

Please see the attached file for details.
----------------------

I'M NOT OPENING YOUR #!%$&# ATTACHMENT, POO-FOR-BRAINS!

It's a stupid text file, so why not just put it in the body of the email? GOD that's annoying! We're trying to train people not to open attachments and this is your plan? GRRRRR

Mountains of Hair

Update: She either wasn't there when I picked him up, or he really didn't recognize her today. The teacher was as tickled as I was, and she really wanted to know who it was. She apparently thinks he's the nicest kid to ever walk the planet, which is just the perfect thing to say to a mom. I mean, there's nothing else that I want to hear.

Anyway, he expanded on the hair thing a little: "It looked like a sand castle". If I had the time, I'd Photoshop a little something and ask "is this her?" but alas, I don't have the time or the software.

I'm going to back off asking about this girlfriend cause he has already starting acting self-conscious about it, and I don't want him to not tell me stuff like this anymore.

p.s. Anyone else picturing the old lady with the big blue beehive hairdo in Better Off Dead? (It was that movie, wasn't it? She was driving really slowly? I keep thinking it was either that or Pee Wee's Big Adventure.)

Lookout, Julia

I know it's been a while since I've talked about my invisible daughter-in-law Julia, but she does come up every once in a while. About two weeks ago Junior mentioned something about Julia and Jim (Jim is his invisible buddy, I'm not sure if he lives with us or not), but since then nothing.

Yesterday when he got home from his new child care center, aside from gushing that it was the greatest place in the universe, he casually mentioned that he had a new girlfriend. I'm loving and supportive, and trying hard not to be the jealous psycho mom you see in TV movies, so I don't tell him he's too young. I don't even tell him that because he's already married to Julia he can't actually have a girlfriend. I just ask what her name is.

"I don't know. But she wears an orange shirt."
"Well honey, what if she isn't wearing that shirt tomorrow?"
"She has a mountain of hair."

Oh good gravy, it's so hard to keep a straight face sometime. Don't you just want to eat him up? Miss Mountain-of-Hair is a very lucky young lady.

163

Sheesh, man. I would like (164) this to stop now. Granted my friend who has had over 400 has trumped me (I hope) on this whole thing. I'm So Over So Big. I know someone who got yelled at by a client for forwarding it. Problem is, you can't prove that you actually got it from someone just because of the header (we've already discussed this here, right?) but the customer is always right, so what do you say? "Stop being an arse, I didn't send you a virus?" (165 - I am so not making this up, I keep looking at Mailwasher, and a new one arrives. 166)

So should we talk about something else? Busy day fighting a big fire at work. I feel pretty good about my contributions there, I love the work, I love the people...what's a girl have to do to get an offer to work their full time?
(167-169)

Okay, granted I was on the phone for 15 minutes (170) so writing this has taken a little longer than it should have.

Did I ever mention that when I was a kid I thought that the way to solve the whole "snack" problem at elementary school would be to learn to love eating leaves? Then if I was hungry I could pick one and just eat it? It wouldn't matter if I forgot a snack or mom didn't give me one. Snacks were growing in front of me!

The fatal flaws in this plan was that
a) leaves don't taste good
b) they aren't very filling
c) this particular snack item is only available for two months of the school year, and
d) if the playground monitor sees you eating leaves they send a note home to your mom.

So ya, I did try it. And the funny thing is that in a mere 12 days, Junior will be playing in the same playground I was back when I did the great leaf experiment of 1974 (or so).

(171,172)

72

At last check, I was up to 72 copies of the virus received. That's amazing. This is really the first one that has filled my in-box. With Klez I think I got maybe two a day at the height of the infestation. Trusty Norton would smite them boom-boom and I'd barely notice they'd been in the room.

But geez, you get 72 email messages containing a virus, at 100k each, and that's going to screw up my mailbox over at the ISP.

So Big

44 emails in my mailbox with the sobig virus (caught by Mailwasher before they got to my inbox). 6 bounce messages that "my" email couldn't be delivered to other people. I guess last night was a big night in the virus world?

I hate that these things forge headers. I know I didn't send it to anyone - I have virus software that updates itself daily - but people who receive these things and think they are from me don't.

In mailwasher I can read messages without downloading anything, so I was looking at the bounces. One was to a mailing list for what appears to be something porn-ish. I guarantee you I'm not a member of any yahoo group that does anything other than try to amuse each other.

*sigh*

Isn't She Too Young To Drink Anyway?

Now see, THIS is usually the kind of story you read about much older trailer trash. She's lookin pretty good for 18, eh? And no mention of the lucky groom?

Didn't Get Anything Accomplished

Man, not a single item on my list. Oh, wait, I just noticed the typo on the last one...9:40. Har! The goal was 7:40. Of course, I didn't make my goal - I couldn't find my ID badge for work, so I spent a long time looking.

Tomorrow should be better/different. Junior starts at the new place, so I don't have to drive out of my way anymore, but now I'm responsible for giving him a lunch, so that should really screw up my life.

I didn't finish the coffee, and I never got the phrase worked into an email. Bummer.

To Do List

Just a few things.

• Work the phrase "we hold these thruths to be self-evident" into a memo at work.
  
• Actually finish a cup of coffee at work
  
• Get out of the house by 9:40.
  

I have 5 minutes left to do that last one.

Funny Stuff

A good friend of mine is starting up his own humor website. I plan to ping Blogrolling when he updates (weekly-ish) so feel free to add him to your blogroll. It's Curious Furious, my friends.

Maybe I'm Not Close Enough to Boston

I don't think the Localfeeds.com website is going to think I'm close enough to Boston to include me. I guess time will tell.

I'm Not In Antarctica

No really. Just because I can't keep longitude and latitude straight, doesn't mean that I have lost all spacial awareness. I am in Massachusetts. However, taking Adam's cue I tried adding myself to GeoURL and in reversing my coordinates, I show up as being "near Syowa - permanent station of Japan, Antarctica."

I'm not there, really I'm not.

Munchos

I don't know how they make 'em, but boy, I do love me a bag of Munchos brand Potato Crisps.

Monday? Again?

Well THAT was fast. Yesterday, the day of rest? Not. Now that I'm working full time and doing the whole single mom thing, I just don't get anything done during the week anymore. Yesterday was "hurry up, you've only got one day left until work again!" day. Combine that with preparing for Junior to start at his new daycare on Wednesday, and then preparing for him to start kindergarten on top of that and you can see that my Sunday was not my own.

Hit Target and did some serious damage. I was in "Queer Eye for the Straight Gal" mode, picking up some storage items. Wicker baskets, actually. Yes, I decided to stop decorating with old Amazon cardboard boxes. I also got a coat rack so I could stop storing stuff on the backs of chairs. So far, so good. Also, I had to mow the lawn, go grocery shopping, do some laundry and the dishes. Sounds like fun, doesn't it? I'd been invited to attend a BBQ but if I'd done that I couldn't have gotten HALF of that stuff done. I feel a little bad about not going, but I feel better about having accomplished so much yesterday. Now if the grass would just stop growing for a while...

Pizza Review

Tried the new Papa John's pizza in Leominster, and I'm here to give my review:

What the hell is the big freaking deal? THIS is what people think is the best pizza in the US? Gah!

I'll take Bertucci's ANY day over this food product. Or California Pizza Kitchen if I have to pick a national chain (as opposed to a New England one). And for local pizza in Leominster, I'm sticking with Athens on Main Street next to the commuter rail station. I think Leominster House of Pizza is good, but it's been so long since I've lived on that side of town that I don't know if it's still good. And I don't eat pizza in - the joy for me is taking it home to eat in front of the television. I mean, that's what pizza is for, right?

Halloween

It's never to early to decide on a Halloween costume. I hear (from a reliable source) that "we" are all dressing as super heros this year. As in all the kids and adults who normally trick or treat out of my sister's house, aka, "ground zero".

So now I have to figure out which super hero I can possibly pull off, given that I'm not built like one would normally imagine a superhero. So far the best I think I can do is one of the Powerpuff girls. But my hair is mostly Buttercup, but who the hell wants to be Buttercup? She's not the cute one or the smart one, she's the mean one!

Back to Work Shopping

Why don't they have Spongebob clothes for people going to work? I could get plenty of lovely stuff for Jr. with Spongebob on it. T-shirts. Pajamas. Underwear. But no blouses or skirts. It's really a crime. I'm going to be going to work every day and nothing I wear will have Spongebob on it. *sigh*

Death or Cake?

I should go back to the cafeteria to see what the sign says exactly; they may have confused the anniversary of Elvis's death with his birthday. That would explain the free cake. That's right, the cafeteria had free cake today to celebrate [mumble] Elvis. I think the mumble says birthday, but it SHOULD say anniversary of his death, because that's tomorrow. He didn't die the day after his birthday, did he?

The grill section special of the day? Fried peanut butter and banana sandwiches. No, really. I took a pass on that, as I had peanut butter last night, in a more normal form. You know, in a Fluffernutter.

Which raises the question - is cake an appropriate way to "celebrate" someone's death? I think no. But it's cake and it's free, so, okay, sure, why not.

Come Back!

My numbers are down, so I can only assume my readers are all on the same power grid.

Looking for Quality Daycare?

Junior is moving on from the home daycare/childcare setup. I've been
incredibly happy with the care provided by the Heart to Heart daycare in
Leominster. With the economy the way it is, the owner has some empty slots
that she just hasn't been able to fill, and that's making her a bit nervous.
If you need HIGH QUALITY child care and you live in the Leominster -
Fitchburg area, please drop me an email and I'll get you in touch with the
owner, Sheila Roy. Consider this a public service announcement combined with
me wanting to help out a friend.

Small, itty bitty changes

I think I'm going to make some really minor changes to the site this weekend. One thing is to take down the link to streaming video. I just don't ever have it on, and stripping out some of the code will make the page just that much faster to load. I may leave the still image there, but to stream I have to also open a hole in my firewall that I'm not not comfortable doing in this land of worms and other unsavory web activity.

So that and maybe tidying up some other code. I don't think I'm going to do a full-fledged redesign, given that it does take some work to do that.

Anyway, just wanted to give you a heads up.

I'm Ready for Another Vacation

I wanted to post my thoughts on Clark's Trading Post and Storyland, to supplement Adam's comments on his experiences there a few weeks ago.

• Clark's is a combination of kitsch and cool that more tourist attractions can only dream of. Sure, it's got a family of Moscow acrobats performing in the same small ring as the bears do, making one feel really funny about sitting on the second level staring down at them. They're good at what they do, but when did the mom stop participating in the act beyond one pass under the limbo bar with glassware on her forehead?


• I was prepared to dislike Storyland and consider it a poor substitute for Santa's Village, as far as pre-schooler-themed amusement parks in New Hampshire go. But it wasn't bad at all. A little less polished, but with more rides. Of course, the clientele was also a little older than what you'd find at Santa's Village, I assume because the rides better. But we're talking the difference between 8 year olds and 10 or 11 year olds here. It's still not Six Flags.


• Best ride? The pirate ship. The captain told all the kids that THEY were the ones powering the boat, so they had to row using this crank handles in front of each bench seat. The littler the kid, the harder they worked at rowing. I kept telling Junior that he could slow down or even take a break, but he took his job very seriously. A guy sitting behind us was giving his little boy directions for how to row to get the boat to stop in the right place at the dock. "Okay, now the other way so you can stop it from going forward. Okay, a little more forward..."
  
• No chicken nuggets at Storyland? What kind of place IS this? A sit-down restaurant is probably asking too much, but with the heat and humidity they had on Sunday, it would have been nice to spend half an hour sitting out of the sun.


• Hey, Clark's, is it possible for the Wolfman to lose the gun? Half the kids in our train car (including my son and my nephew) were practically in tears because it was so loud and scary.

I think that's all for now. Great little vacation, far too short, but I think we picked some fun places to stop, especially with kids this age.

[Edited to fix Adam's name. Don't have a clue why I wrote Dave. None.]

Photo of the Day

Out in Westford, they really make the handicapped parking a challenge.

Tostitos

I really need an intervention for my Tostitos addiction.

Honey, We're Home

Ugh, what a humid, sticky mess it was up in the mountains. It always surprises me how hot and humid they can be...somehow I just think of them as being cooler. Two nights away is not enough...we were barely unpacked and it was time to load back up. We got rained on at Storyland yesterday but it was SO hot that it actually felt fantastic. I'd never been to an amusement park that advertised that they stayed open if it rained - I think only a severe lightening storm was a problem.

Today was spent at Attitash doing the Alpine Slide and the water slide. I feel that we kind of got sucked in to buying an all-day pass because they told us that early in the day we could get 2-3 runs an hour on the Alpine Slide. I can tell you personally that we stood in line in the heat and 93% humidity for about an HOUR to get our first run. I was disgusted, but there was no way Junior was getting out of that line. He thought it was great (he went by himself!) but we had to tell him that no way were we going to go for a second run.

I didn't go on the water slide (just didn't interest me today, especially when I know what I look like in a suit compared to every other woman there...) so we had to sit in the sun waiting for all the boys to get in 6 or 7 runs on that. I was SO ready to get in an air conditioned car, I can tell you that.

So now we're home and it's still rainy and gross - got in a downpour on the way to my sister's house, then I got in one on the way home from her house. Geez, I'm hoping the humidity drops in my lifetime. I'm looking forward to being in the AC at work all day tomorrow after this weekend, that's for sure!

p.s. Stopped at Clark's Trading Post on the way up. I think $10 is a pretty good deal for that place, given that it includes a 2 mile train ride, bumper boats, rock climbing and other stuff all free all day. After going to Disney this spring, we were in that "rip off" mode and I was actually stunned at how reasonable the prices for food and souvenirs were. Oh, and I think Jr. wants to be a Russian acrobat when he grows up.

p.p.s. There's an exchange program with "Russian" countries and Storyland so all the ride operators spoke with awesome eastern European accents. A lot of them were from Slovenia (it was on their name tags). My favorite (and often repeated) line this weekend was from the lovely gentleman running the tractor ride. He sat Jr. up front and I climbed in back. He pointed to a little yellow button, leaned in, and said "Your button....does not work" with that excellent accent, which made it feel like he was a James Bond bad guy. Made my whole day.

Can't post from up here because there is zero signal on my phone. I feel so cut off from ciuilization...

Two Days in the Wet White North

Yucko. Rain. You people didn't leave offerings to Mother Nature for me! Man, I'd be sooooo sad if I'd taken this whole week for vacation the way my boss did. Nasty wet rainy and floody for a week. They even closed part of Route 2 for short while yesterday due to flooding. Blech.

Ya, ya, ya, I know, better than the heat wave in Europe.

Preparations Almost Done

I'm only going away for 2 nights (3 days) and I know I've got too damned much stuff. I think the problem is that the weather reports are still pointing toward yuckiness. I have no idea if we'll be able to do outside activities, which is the plan. So with two 5 year olds and a 3 year old, you don't want to be stuck in a strange place with nothing to amuse them. I ended up telling Junior to use his suitcase to lug games, etc., and I'd pack his stuff in my suitcase.

I did want to brag how impressed I was at his early packing skills. He was making a mental list of things he'd need to pack, which I found incredibly responsible and mature. "I'd better take a sweater in case it gets cold." I mean, what 5 year old boy thinks of that (and his toothpaste) instead of wondering how many Power Rangers will fit in the zipper compartment?

Why So Gloomy, Gus?

Geez, at lunch today I poked around a few of my regular haunts and everyone is on such a downer!

I won't do that to you. I mean, 99% of the time, no gloom. This site started in 1996 as a humor site. It updated between once a month and once a week and my entire goal was to bring a smile to the face of anyone silly enough to stop by.

Just because I use automated blogging software doesn't mean I want to crab and moan about stuff...I still want to make people smile. Maybe I should try harder - there are sites out there who do a grand job of amusing the masses. Then again, if I only post funny/happy/amusing stuff, the page might not get updated every day. Is that okay? I remember when we made the change from being semi-weekly to daily - I polled my regular users (the people who got the newsletter letting them know there was an update) and even my sister said she didn't want it to be daily. Maybe it's not as funny now.

Wait...this post is started to make me sad. Better change direction.

Junior: I had a hotdog for lunch today.
Me: Wow! That's great! Did you like it?
Junior: No
Me: You didn't like the bread?
Junior: I didn't like the brown thing inside the bread.


Ummm. Okay. Hot Dogs are a no. [He doesn't eat anything. He hates foods that most normal kids beg for, including candy, cookies, ice cream, etc. He doesn't eat bread unless toasted, and that's rare. Sandwiches make him gag (I think it's the bread). He eats his toast dry, but we can put butter on the bread for a grilled cheese.]

A Little Insight Into Jodyland

Okay, normally I wouldn't post anything here that makes me look outrageously freaky or odd. Because I'm using my website as a way to build a whole world of people who worship me, and would do anything I ask just because I'm me. Either that or try to find a date once in a while. Anyway, I'm going to be honest with you, because as I pulled things from the dryer, I became more incredulous with every passing moment.

I think I should have done laundry earlier, because obviously I'm too tired to handle it. I pulled the following items out of the dryer just now:

1 nickel
4 ones
1 five
1 ten
2 pens (one leaked, one didn't)
a little ball of tissues
2 tampons
1 pack of gum (held together pretty well, I didn't end up with gum all over everything)

You can see how close I came to absolutely destroying everything in the load. Actually, I spotted the ink (purple) on Junior's Wiggles t-shirt, but it looked like some kind of juice so I soaked it in the sink (Oxy-Cleaned it) instead of putting it in the dryer. That's when I found the gum, when I was transferring things. I looked through everything else and didn't see any other ink stains, so I just turned the dryer on.

The money appeared after the clothes were dry. I can see finding a few ones, or the five, but nineteen dollars and five cents? I should have noticed that. (Hell, why wasn't I worried that I was missing almost twenty dollars? I'm not made of money here!) The pens and the tampons had to be in a canvas purse-thingy I was washing to take to Cow Hampshire with me. I had checked the inside pocket and pulled out some lip balm and some small papers. I didn't notice there was an outside pocket, though. (Which wasn't unzipped, so the loose purple pen must have been on the inside and I just missed it. The maroon pen in the zipped pocket faired much better, and didn't leak at all.) Oh, and I'm just going to tell you that once you run tampons through a wash and dry cycle, you're pretty much never ever getting them out of the applicator. Not that I tried, mind you, but I could tell by looking.

So that's my "adventures in laundry" for this evening. Next time I make sure I get a good meal and a nap ahead of time.

Why Can't They Decide?

I'm checking at least three different sources for what the weather will be like this weekend at our mystery vacation location and there is no consensus. One site says sunny and warm, another says there's a 50% of rain. I mean, geez, I'm not asking you to agree on the temperature or the humidity level, I just want to know that on Sunday, for instance, it won't rain.

Is that so much to ask? It's not a long-range forecast at this point, the weekend is only 2 days away. So do I trust Accuweather, The Weather Channel (shown on my.yahoo.com), the weather service Boston.com uses or what?

Before and After We Don't Care

Oh man, today was "deal with the fact that the school won't be offering before/after child care when Junior starts Kindergarten in 4 weeks. Fine time to find out, I'd already given notice with his regular caregiver because I'd been led to believe they were offering something. I called them because I was concerned that we hadn't heard from them, and luckily got to talk to the principal of the school. She was very nice, thank God, because as a parent facing public schools for the first time, I'm already freaked out. To learn that I had to find a place for him to be not only before but AFTER put me over the edge.

Because I got in touch so early, she pre-approved him moving from afternoon to morning session, which was very cool. She also told me about a couple of childcare centers where Leominster busses would actually take him to and from along with all the other kindergarteners there. Mr. Dump got us an appointment with the director for tonight and we all went down there to meet each other. I really like the place, and Junior is totally pissed that he doesn't get to start tomorrow so I guess he likes it too.

So something that started out horrible is actually going to be very good for me. The place is actually on my way to and from work, instead of being across town the way his is now. I am pretty sure I can get there from work in 30 minutes if there's nothing funky going on traffic-wise, which means I can pretty much pick him up every day without having to leave work way early!

Can you tell I'm happy? Now I just have to notify the school that the bus will have to pick him up there instead of here so they can make the adjustment, and then they can tell me if it's morning or afternoon session (all kids from there will go to the same session). Oh, and fill out the 400 forms to enroll him.

Now I can relax for the first time today.

Learning Italian

I know you're thinking "enough already with the Josh Groban" but humor me a moment.

I was listening to his CD in the car, actually replaying my two favorite cuts, "Alla Luce del Sole" and "You're Still You" and I realized I'm feeling very frustrated at not knowing Italian so I can sing along with the non-English cuts on the CD. I sort of fake it but then I'm afraid I'll learn it wrong and someone who knows italian will mock me for singing "I have two moon heads and it's green in the laundry of my father."

Back a million years ago when I went to France for 3 weeks, I bought a cassette and Magali, the girl hosting me, wrote the lyrics for three of the songs. Now granted I'd been taking french since junior high so it was fairly easy for me to learn the song using the lyrics, and I might have even figured it out on my own eventually, but it just made the tape so much better when I could sing along.

Alla luce del sole, anyone?

Stuffing

Seems like as good a day as any to stuff a few topics in one entry. I'll even get all formal and bullet them out for you.

• School shopping - Well, what I got for me were a pair of pants, three shirts and two funky clearance bracelets. Oh, and two pair of socks. At Target I got myself some paperclips in shades of blue and purple - just the ones that I normally pick out when forced to have some that include my non-favorite colors. And a lunch bag, because when I took my lunch to work two weeks ago my lunch bag had Junior's name on it because, well, it was his from pre-school.


• Less than a month until school starts. I think he's getting excited because every day he asks how many more days until school starts. We'll beat that out of him by second grade, eh?


• Josh Groban was amazing. I know some people turn up their nose, but I'm assuming they're lumping him in with Yanni etc. because PBS overplays his special. They always do that. I can safely say that hearing him live gave me goosebumps, and I went into this not even knowing who he was.


• I have converted two more people into Allouette Artichoke and Spinach cheese spread addicts. I will eventually take over the world.


• Can everyone sing "Rain Rain Go Away" as a group for this weekend? I don't want to be stuck in a hotel, regardless of how much space we have, for three days with three kids. We need to go to Storyland, dammed!


• I refuse to feel bad about telling the Bertucci's manager that our waitress could use an attitude adjustment. I understand that there could be issues in her personal life of which I am unaware. The problem is, I don't want to be made to feel that I am putting you out by wanting to place an order for food. Don't leave us sitting for 10 minutes wondering if anyone is assigned to our table. Don't forget to ask us if we want something to drink after we order our food, just because we said we were ready to order our meals when you finally showed up. If you have a problem with being assigned our table, give us to someone who is happy to be at work. If I acted like that at work don't you think I'd suddenly have a one-on-one with my boss? Mom thought I was horrible for saying something to the manager, but she's usually the first person to do that, so I'm actually surprised.


• Still tired. This Diet Pepsi isn't cutting it.

Time for Bed

Man, am I tired now. I thought I was going to have time before now to write, but we did our first annual school shopping trip. First of what, 16 annual trips? *sigh*

I even bought something for me, cause I'm young at heart.

3 AM

Oh good Lord, I got home at 3 in the morning, uh, "today". I am so wiped. Went to Tanglewood to see John Williams and the Boston Pops with Josh Groban yesterday with 4 of my favorite people in the world. The whole day was great...details after I have more coffee...

The Need for an Elph

Okay, I saw the camera of my dreams at Circuit City tonight. (From the back seat: "Are we going to the circus store?" "Huh?" "The circus store...that one over there!" "Oh, CIRCUIT, not circus.")

It's the 4 megapixel Elph, and it's on sale for $475 in the store, and $450 on Amazon. Now that might now be much for some of you moneybags, but it's pretty much out of range for me, given that some people would think I have a perfectly fine camera. I know I'm not completely happy with it, but I know you won't listen to me. I mean, I am a web development professional here...it WOULD be a tax write-off. (Which I just realized and NOW I'm trying to figure out how to budget that puppy).

Anyway, if four hundred and seventy-five of you just send in a dollar each, I'll create a page with all your names and I'll dedicate my every waking moment for like three or four weeks to you. Seriously. So go off and organize yourselves, okay? Thanks.

And if you are looking for a digital camera and can't afford the really cool $800 Sony, I'd look at this one. It's smaller than a pack of smokes for goodness sakes. And you literally won't believe the quality of the LCD screen. There. I'm done my sales pitch.

Uh-Oh, Chango!

I'm thinking this bio might challenge Chuck Barris's. Seriously.

Okay, now I think you may have to be a certain age to appreciate this, but if you ever watched the Banana Splits, you saw Danger Island. And if you saw Danger Island, you saw Chango.

Here's the actor's bio, on his stunt school website.


Note that it does NOT mention Chango. But I got this link off an interview he did on a kind of cool Banana Splits website that Friend-of-the-Dump Anji sent me!.