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Some of our links are still broken. I'm not surprised, given that I have some Christmas decorations that I didn't need to put up this year because I'd never put them away last year.

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Why I Need to Call Apple Computer

Several times a day I get the uncontrollable urge to hurl things at my radio, courtesy Apple's new ad campaign for their little blue computers. (Remember when they wouldn't do anything in blue because IBM was their biggest competitor? I do!)

Somebody please, please please hurt Jeff Goldblum so he can no longer make commercials for them. I don't know what it is about them - if it's just his tone, or the script or both, but he sounds like the world's biggest idiot, and I wouldn't want to be associated with him by purchasing an iMac.  I think it's the email one that gets me the most. He's making those of us who happen to already HAVE email addresses sound pretentious. I have actually started changing the station on the radio when I hear one of these spots...heads up to Apple on that one.

Christmas Update

I  experience the hell that is being a parent of a young child. I waited in line for over an hour so that Michael could sit on Santa's lap. This was a good Santa, at the Burlington Mall, which is probably why the line snaked around the way it did. No fake hair or beard for this guy, it was all his. And he was in a gorgeous long robe, like Father Christmas. All the kids looked just angelic in their Christmas best. They were even pretty well behaved. But here are my observations and experiences.

1. Bring snacks. These kids weren't going to survive on mall air alone. The lady in front of us borrowed pretzel rods from the woman in front of her.
2. Yes, parents do get testy after an hour and a half. In the line to pay and pickup pictures a fistfight almost broke out when one guy told a lady the line formed behind him, and her husband was standing in front of him. They actually had a staredown.
3. Michael was an angel throughout most of the wait. He had Cheerios and a bottle of water in line.
4. The Burlington Mall Santa area is well-decorated, with lots of huge white and blue topiaries. I know they are topiaries because all over the place (for the adults) were these sterling silver-looking signs that contained fun facts about topiaries. It was deadly boring reading.
5. The elves were not smiling on us today. While Michael was an angel for the entire time we were stuck in line, he imploded at the end of it. Poor kid got an eyelash (or something) in his eye, and started to cry, squirm and rub his eye furiously. Keith thought he got an eyelash out, but Michael may have scratched his eye, because he kept rubbing it and had lots of tears (not that he was crying). This happened, yes, when we were next in line for Santa. I was horrified. We were there to get a picture taken! We got one shot and took a package because, after all, it's his first visit to Santa. And he looks absolutely adorable, but just miserable. It's the saddest picture. And the thing is, he wasn't afraid of Santa. He's good with strangers for the most part. But his eye was hurting him, so he looks like the saddest boy on the planet. This is a link to a picture of him with his big teary eyes. It doesn't really do the original justice.
   
6. Did I mention the near fist-fight?

Doing Time on Memorial Drive

My company Christmas party was held this past Friday in Cambridge. It was a great party and a great location, except for one thing: it required us to be on Memorial drive. In a car. At night.

I hate traffic, ever since it occurred to me that drunk drivers never die, they only kill others (unless they are alone in the car and they head for the nearest tree). So now I assume that every car coming at me has a drunk driver at the wheel. And Memorial drive is the kind of road that has 2 lanes in each direction, but really only enough room for three cars abreast. Memorial Drive scares the pants off me. And we didn't really know where we were going, which didn't help. The one thing that would have brightened up the drive yet didn't quite happen is that this couple in a Blazer next to us at a light were discussing whether or not they she should flash her breasts at Keith (our window was open a crack). And she was going to until her "man" realized I was in the car. Personally, I think she should have done it anyway. I have never seen anyone flash their breasts in public, and I'm sorry that they felt I was a deterrent. As a breastfeeding mom, I have had to feed Michael in public locations and gave at least one or two people a glimpse, I'm sure. I just think it would have made for a better story here if she had gone through with it. She did lick the window for Keith, so it wasn't a total loss. Plus it gave us something to talk about for the next 15 or 20 minutes.

The List:

What Santa Is Bringing The Sad Little Kid

• Little Tikes Doors and Drawers Activity Kitchen (not the stand-up one, this is good for even a 6 month old)
• One book about dumptrucks (!) and another about airplanes
• The Yellow talking Teletubbie (Laa-laa for those of you trying to keep up), and
• A VTech talking "laptop" which is actually about 8 buttons that make sounds when you press on them. Might I recommend to all of you to buy stock in VTech if it's available? These people make some really awesome stuff, and Michael will own many of them by the time he graduates to a real computer.

LAST UPDATE: December 13, 1998

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