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Copyright 1997

November

I can't believe it's November already. Boy, in this part of the world, November is the 2nd most depressing month of the year. March is the first, contrary to popular belief. I know most people think February is the worst month, but it actually isn't, simply because it only has 28 days. For those folks who get paid 12 or 24 times a year, February helps you get the March paycheck just that much faster. March is pretty bad, because it wants to be spring, but everything is still wet and dirty and chilly. March is like a runny nose. November is more like a headache. The runny nose isn't quite there yet, but you know it's only a matter of time. I suppose some of you will write in that Thanksgiving is your favorite holiday, and damnit, what other month has a 2.5 day work week in it? Well, I'll remind you that some people only get Turkey day off, and they're forced to spending slaving over hot gravy. But you're right, it is a wonderful week. That doesn't make up for the rest of the month. Not even the "busiest shopping day of the year" can do that.

Idiot of the Week Award

Special thanks to Keith, who pointed out this week's "Idiot of the Week" award recipient. The unidentified gentleman is a Porsche owner who may or may not be a regular Route 2 commuter. We'll call him Richard Cranium for ease of reading.

Our pal "Dick" was apparently tooling along route 2 westbound from at least the 128 on-ramp, if not somewhere further east than that. Apparently, he was being followed by a police cruiser with lights flashing, which he did not notice. Mr. Policeman was doing this because he had noticed something "Dick" did not. The Porsche was spewing smoke like the Jimmy Dean sausage factory.

When "Dick" did notice the smoke pouring out of the hood of his car flames were involved. His choice of a place to stop was the Mobil station at Crosby's Corner. Yes, kids, a man with a flaming car drove into a gas station. Apparently it didn't occur to him that this was a bad idea. It did occur to the policeman, who generously gave him MANY citations, including something about endangering the fine folks who were minding their own business at the gas station. So, hats off to Mr. Cranium, our Idiot of the Week - proving once again that people with expensive cars don't necessarily have the brains to survive in this fine world. Chalk one up for Joe Average.

Trick or Treating

Lovely Debra and the Amazing Bob had invited us over to their house on Halloween night to hand out candy. According to some of their neighbors, hundreds of kids descend on their neighborhood. And I assume they do. It's just that they don't necessarily make it all the way down to the cul-de-sac where Deb and Bob live.

We showed up with a ton of candy, as did Kim and Abigail Ebb. Deb and Bob fed us dinner, and we were poised with our three bowls of candy for the onslaught. The one that never came. I have never had so much candy left over after Halloween. This is good in some ways, and very very very bad in others.

Why People Go Into Law