BAM!

The List

The world rejoiced on June 3, 1998 as it welcomed Peter David Sojka to the populace. A potential red-head, much to Grandma B's delight, he has spent the past week getting his room set up the way he likes it, and eating about every 15 minutes. He is also busy "marking his territory" whenever they change him. Mom Deb and Dad the Amazing Bob are doing well. Peter was 8 pounds, 2 oz, and 23 inches long!!!


My "Niece"

Not to be outdone by Peter, little Allison Kimberly Ebb made her entrance a little over two weeks later on June 19th. She has a FULL head of hair, and seems very happy to join her family, which includes new big sister Abigail! I will post more info on Mookie's page at a later date.


Why I'm Really Really Mad at CVS

They lost a film of mine, that was supposed to be ready on Friday. This film contained pictures of Mookie, reason enough to be upset, but it also contained pictures of Peter and Allison! You are only a new baby ONCE for goodness sake, and I wanted those pictures, damnit! CVS told Keith they'd call IF they find the film. IF? IF? Hey, this isn't finder's keepers. Those are my pictures! So CVS, if you are listening, I'm p.o.'d! When I saw you had a one hour photo lab in the store, I assumed that you processed all film that way, even if we said "Nah, I don't need it in an hour." Well, you can bet your big behind that I won't be sending my film out to God knows where any longer. If I can't afford to have the one-hour processing, I'm not going to have it done. At least that way I'll know my film is in the building.


Messing up my Commute

Open Letter to Bill Clinton and Tony Bennett:
I don't want to sound rude, Mr. President, but when you and Tony Bennett were in Lincoln Mass last week to dedicate the new Thoreau center located near Walden Pond, you really cramped my style. Now I like you as much as the next person Mr. President, and in fact, you can have all the interns you want as long as you can do a decent job 9 to 5, but did they have to close down route 2 from 126 to the rotary for you? Just where were they taking you, to the Concord Prison? Is that wise?

Mr. Bennett, I'm sure the highway closing wasn't your fault. I just wanted to include you in my vent. I left Don Henley out because he's at Walden so often it couldn't possibly have been him.

I guess the only silver lining in this is that El Presidente passed right by Emerson Hospital, which is where little Petey was hanging out with his mom and dad. It's not much, but it's something for the baby book!


"You are Driving 37 MPH"

Apparently, my neighborhood is full of speeders. Well, actually, I kind of knew that. We live off a fairly busy street here in Leominster, and to combat that, the local men in blue put up a little machine that tells you how fast you are driving. Every day for a couple of weeks we got to play "Guess My Speed" with this machine as drove home.

Now I didn't have time to try any of these ideas out, but what I really wanted to do was try to see if it would clock my speed walking, running, riding a bike, and throwing a baseball. The baseball one was the one I wanted to try the most. It would be like going to one of those booths at a carnival where you have to guess how fast your throw is, then they clock it with a radar gun. Everyone is generally slower than a major league pitcher (which makes sense, because if I could throw a ball with ANY degree of accuracy at greater than 80 miles an hour, I'm sure I'd be playing ball for a living.) But I was afraid the local law would think I was trying to break said machine, due to my inability to control my throw when I'm going for speed. Either that or I would have really hurt myself.

So the machine is gone now, having done its job, whatever that was. And I never did try to run by it. So I'll just assume that it would have been a really really decent number.


Porkies

You know that life has hit a real low point when you are flipping through the channels and two different stations are both showing Porkies. Nuff said.


How Would You Like That Steak?

So we went to the new grocery store, Victory's Market Square, at the Twin City Mall. Nice nice place. Too nice. Keith and I were walking around Oooohing and Aaaahing and we weren't putting anything in our basket because we were overcome. Well, we did buy crab cakes, which I have never bought in a grocery store before. He didn't want to buy any sushi. (There was a real live sushi "chef" working there in the grocery store!) I also wanted to try some knishes from the Kosher Deli, but we didn't. However, at the "real butcher" meat counter, he picked up two steaks, misreading the price. Not $4.99 a pound. $7.99 a pound. Wrapped in white paper, just like the old days that neither one of us actually remembers.

So now I have an $8 steak and an almost $10 steak. We put the $8 steak in the freezer. He starts getting the grill ready while I go upstairs with Michael to feed him. I hear weird noises, and hear Keith hurrying outside. There is a popping noise and a whooshing sound. I get up and see lots of smoke. I throw (gently) Michael into his crib and shut his windows. I run downstairs. Our grill has imploded. Apparently he heard the popping sound and grabbed the fire extinguisher. Flames had been shooting up toward the 2nd floor! My first thought? "Was the steak on the grill?" Hey, it's a $10 steak! And we were both STARVING! No! The steak was in the house! I do a fabulous job preparing it (brown both sides on top of the stove and then throw it in the oven (350-ish?) for about 20-25 minutes. The grill is currently in the "large metal objects" pile at the Leominster Recycling/Landfill place. The tank was properly disposed of. And I have an $8 steak in the freezer with no grill. I hope someone invites us somewhere for the 4th of July...


The Truman Show

Best movie I've seen in years. I can't say enough about this one. Please see it. And if you are a voting academy member, please remember the author of the screenplay next spring. He is my hero for taking care of the things that would have been big plot holes in anyone else's screenplay.