Something's Digging Up Our Lawn
This fertilizer thing is tricky. Each one works a different way. The first product we tried looked like beanbag chair stuffing. You put it out when you knew it would rain within 24 hours. That was pretty easy to handle. This new stuff is a lot harder to plan with. It looks like Ovaltine, and you need to spread it when the grass is still wet, but when you aren't expecting rain for 24 hours. As you can guess, we haven't quite found a day like that yet. I'm terrified that we're going to destroy our lawn. Maybe weeds and not-so-green patches aren't that bad after all...
But as the subject says, "something's digging up our lawn". I have no idea what it is. Well, okay, I suspect either moles or a skunk, and from the size of the clods of grass getting tossed around, I think it's a skunk doing some digging. Or else Keith is practicing with his 5 iron in his sleep.
Keith has been trying to "keep up with the Jones's" this year. Again. Our neighbors, Mr. and Mrs. Ridingmower have a lush carpet of deep green grass. Up until a couple of weeks ago the line between their lawn and ours was sharp enough to draw blood. But Keith applied some phase 1 fertilizer/weed killer and the line really blends well now. He does need to do another pass, so we went back to Home Depot to buy some more of the phase one, because it still is early in the season, plus our weather has been unusually cold. The Home Depot guy told us that it was time for phase 2, even though I pointed out to him that the back of the bag said it should be used when "daytime temperatures are consistently higher than 60 degrees". The day I was saying this averaged about 48. He just kept repeating that "his boss said it's time for phase 2." I should have asked to see the boss's lawn.
Baywatch Nights
I wasn't going to watch, as I've already noted, but the opening credits sucked me in. David Hasselhoff may actually be the center of the universe, if the credits are to be believed. He is photographed in such a way that he appears to be an otherworldly being. Plus, there are only three main characters, and none of them wear bathing suits. (Well, maybe they do sometimes, but it's not the work uniform, so...
I thought this show was just supposed to be a slightly darker, more dangerous Baywatch. Apparently they changed the premise to be The X Files minus Scully and Mulder plus Mitch from Baywatch and a white chick and a black guy. This week's show was about some evil guy who escaped from a crack in the desert who could create really hot winds that caused people in LA to beat each other up. So the three main characters went off to find "the source of the wind". Eventually there was a subterranean "Good vs. Evil" battle involving Mitch and the girl and the evil spirit guy. I kept thinking "Why does Mitch think he can go down into that cave and solve the problem? If the guy really is Satan, is he really going to be subdued by a member of Baywatch?" I doubt too much.
I don't know if I should be admitting this in public, but the forces of good and evil met in my living room this past weekend, and I found myself watching a show called "Baywatch Nights". I wasn't going to watch this show, primarily because it had the word "Baywatch" in the title. A good enough reason for anyone to stay away, you're saying to yourself. You're a wise soul.
Side Note: Due to writing this dump, I got to add "Baywatch" to my spellcheck dictionary!
Lord of the Dance Update
The review was not particularly good. It seems that the show started between 30 minutes and an hour late. And then there was some complaining about Michael's costumes, specifically his leather pants. The reviewer had praise for the bad guy, and for the lead female dancers, but wasn't particularly kind to the "Lord" himself.
In the meantime, the Lord of the Dance video remains on the Top 10 list for sales.
I apparently missed seeing Michael Flatley in all his glory, simply because I don't read the arts section of the Boston Globe. I'm not boycotting the Globe, I just don't subscribe to it. But my local paper, the wonderfully inept Fitchburg/Leominster Sentinel and Enterprise (a paper staffed entirely by people who pull AP stories off the wire) actually had a review of the show on the first page of the second section a couple Saturdays ago. I couldn't even tell where the review came from. I assume the person who wrote it specifically for the Sentinel had actually attended the show. Lucky duck.
Today's List
Things I Would Do if I Could Take Today Off
- Go to the library
- Buy a popsicle from the ice cream man (I assume the season has opened and he hits my neighborhood again this year.)
- Put the furniture back out on the deck
- Consider doing yard work for 15 minutes before taking the library book out onto the deck and eating my popsicle.
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LAST UPDATE: May 12, 1997