THE BIG DUMP TRUCK

Throwing Little Thought Pebbles
at Your Windshield

Olympic Moment

I don't think you actually need me to add my comments to all the other voices yammering about the CBS Olympic coverage. Well, maybe you do. Should I deprive you?

I was unimpressed with the coverage. I was also very annoyed by the CNN website. I visit this website about 4-5 times a day, more if I'm at work with a direct connection. I just like to check the current headlines, see if we're at war, whatever. Now we all know that Nagano Japan was 14 hours ahead of us. But the CNN web site didn't care. They put the medal result headlines right there in the middle of everything else. In fact, when Tara "I am apparently the only reason to watch the Olympics" Lipinski won the gold, they put her picture right up at the top of the page with the announcement that she'd won. Totally ruining the only thing possibly worth watching on a Friday night.

I am disappointed that I didn't know TNT was also showing coverage. I don't normally watch TNT, which is well known for it's Saturday afternoon John Wayne-athons, along with the occasional Elvis movie. I learned about TNT from an absolutely unbelievably funny article from the folks at www.teevee.org, in an article called "TNT Goes for the Cold". It is one of the funniest things I've ever read. (Most items I receive from www.teevee.org are. Do yourself a favor, go to the website, sign up for the direct mailing of new articles, and read the archives. You'll be really glad you did.)

I think CBS didn't have their heart in covering the Olympics. And they certainly weren't doing it for the love of the obscure sports. For instance - this event that combined Cross Country Skiing and Ski Jumping. Now that's an odd combination. It's more odd than the biathalon that everyone thinks is the oddest - cross country skiing and shooting. That one makes more sense because it seems to me there are actually countries in the world where these combined skills put fresh meat on the table. But in general, people who do cross country skiing are the least likely to try ski jumping. Certainly they wouldn't use the same skis. I wanted to watch this to find out more about why this is an event. But I didn't see it.

I saw plenty of skating though. And when I wasn't watching skating, I was watching people practice skating. That may be scraping the bottom of the programming barrel. It was more interesting to watch the rink staff try to fill in the big gouge in the ice made when one of the speed skaters took a spill. And if you see someone practice their routine, what's the point of watching it again in actual competition, especially when you already know who won?

So Tara, congrats on your gold medal. I watched even though I knew you won, and you really did deserve it. I just hope you have a good support system once you get home, because it must really suck to peak at 15. I know I'm glad that I'm 33 and I haven't peaked yet.

Mom, where do caskets come from?

It is just one of those things that you think about and yet you don't think about. Well, most of us block thoughts of death and dying and funerals. But I spotted something the other day that I had never seen before. A casket delivery truck. This was a big semi, and it said "[Somebody's] Casket Company" on the side. It was driving up route 13, so I assume it's going to a funeral home somewhere in Fitchburg or Lunenburg. Isn't it funny, I'm 33 years old and until last week I hadn't stopped to think how a funeral home actually gets caskets. I didn't assume that the funeral director went out back at night and made them himself. I suppose she/he could but probably not. Oh, and on this subject, ground has been broken in Fitchburg for a new Funeral home. For some reason, this amazes me. I guess there is plenty of death to go around, but I just sort of figured that the current number of funeral homes is enough to handle the business. I haven't tried to schedule a funeral, so it's possible that we've maxed out what we have. It's just the sort of business that seems to have always existed.

Also, what kind of "grand opening" does one have?

Jasper's

Those of you locals (from the Leominster area) who are reading this may need this vital information. Jasper's, our favorite coffee shop, has closed. At least the location on Central Street. We regularly travelled out of our way to to the Central Street diner-like storefront for coffee and Keith's favorite, an egg and bagel sandwich. When I still lived with my sister in the condo, I did my laundry at the laundromat on the corner, and would get an iced coffee from Jasper's to help with the boredom.

We stopped in on Sunday, and there was a big "we're moving March 1st" sign in the window. Turns out the we were some of the last people to get served at that location. When they closed at noon, they actually removed the closed sign altogether. But here is the good news. They are moving closer to my house! That's right! We'll actually be able to get those sandwiches to go! (Which I always wanted to do at the old location, but it was too far a drive to hope that the egg would stay the tiniest bit warm. So we stayed away a lot because they allowed smoking with no real divider for the non-smoking section.) They are moving into the space formerly known as the Red Checker on Hamilton Street. I suggest you all stop by!!

WNDS and Al Kaprilian

Do any of my readers have any connections at WNDS in Derry NH? If so, please drop me a line. Also, I'd appreciate it if anyone knows of any links to WNDS or anything Al Kaprilian-related.

Lord of the Dance Update

Do any of you watch the PBS show "Antiques Roadshow"? Has anyone noticed the two brothers who are appraisers? Leigh and Leslie Keno look like Michael Flatley's long lost brothers. It actually disturbs me to see them appraising furniture instead of tap dancing.

But real Michael Flatley news was forwarded by a friend. Apparently Mr. Flatley has made a claim to be the fasted tap dancer on earth. He filed a claim that he tapped 35 taps in one second (using both feet). This was recorded and sent to the Guinness Book people. The previous record was 28 taps (which seems amazing even if Michael didn't break the record!) I assume that if Michael is off breaking records, he's gotten over the illness that sidelined him late last year.

Today's List
Why It's Good To Have a Son

No Barbies (and as the person with the MasterCard, No Kens)

It's hard enough to keep track of his socks, what would we do with those little headbands?

Two words: Snowblower and lawmower

His closet won't end up bigger than mine

He can be as cute as he is and yet we won't be competing with me for his father's affection

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