The Big DumpTruck

Me: So, you awake in there?

Izzy: Zzzzzzzzzz

Me: [poke poke]

Izzy: Hey! Oh, it's you.

Me: Ya, it's me. Who were you expecting?

Izzy: The short one. He sneaks me sunflower seeds when you aren't looking. By the way, my ass is huge, I'm scared I won't fit in the tubes soon.

Me: I'll be sure to let him know.

Izzy: So what's doin'?

Me: I wanted to talk to you about the purse thing.

Izzy: Oh, right. That.

Me: Ya, that. You know, that was my favorite Vera Bradley purse.

Izzy: I didn't know that. You never told me.

Me: I shouldn't have had to.

Izzy: Also, it was dark. And the thing was leaning against my cage. How was I supposed to know?

Me: I don't know. I guess once you tasted it, could you have maybe thought to yourself "hey, this isn't a food product"?

Izzy: Those pink things you put in my cage don't taste like food products either, you know.

Me: Those are for you to gnaw on, so your teeth don't grow out of control.

Izzy: Maybe I thought that's what the strap was.

Me: ...

Izzy: Well maybe it was!

Me: ...

Izzy: Are you done? If I don't get back to sleep I won't be able to run in my wheel all night.