The Big DumpTruck

You know, just when I started to get over the whole Spears-Federline media frenzy pregnancy, we're faced with a few more pregnancies that will keep People Magazine in overdrive in 2006. Angelina Jolie. The Tom Cruise Spawn. Gwen Stefani. And now Gwyneth Paltrow is pregnant again. Will our pain and suffering never end? We may as well just face the facts now - the clear winner in this horse race is going to be the Jolie-Pitt pregnancy. You won't be able to shake a dead sheep without seeing a photo of Angie. The Cruise Spawn won't get that kind of coverage because Angie is way more interesting to people than Katie or Gwen. Now if it was Tom vs. Brad with a big baby belly, I'd put my money on Tom because everyone likes watching that train wreck. Gwyneth is "been there done that" until she names the baby something odd. Again.

Related to this idiocy is the bigger idiocy of the local paper running a front page story about how local people feel about the Jolie-Pitt thing. Are you kidding me? Are you out of your minds? There is NOTHING ELSE going on in this area that you can write about? I can yammer about it here on my website because I AM NOT A FREAKING NEWSPAPER. That's it. I am so done with them. Whoever edits that paper should just turn in whatever brain cells are still rattling around.

Where was I going with this? I don't remember. I'm in a daze ever since reading the news that CMonks met a Danish woman named Trinka playing Blokus and moved to Køgehoffenborg Denmark to live with her and her three stepsisters in a home overrun with mutton but lacking a television set. I have, as he said, broken into a million little pieces. I certainly hope he's not putting any fiction on his completely non-fiction website. If he says he obtains food by running over sheep with a jeep, who am I to question his honesty. As Oprah would say, that would be much ado about nothing.