If I’m not mistaken, last night I dreamt about bacon. Of all the meats in the pork family, bacon is the best, so don’t you even try to go there Miss Sausage Patty or Mr. Ham. In heaven, the streets will be paved with bacon, and you’ll be able to just pick up pieces and eat it and you won’t get sick because you’re already dead, duh, and any holes you make from pigging out (heh) will just be immediately re-filled with more bacon.
And it will be the crisp kind, the kind that crumbles in your mouth. None of that chewy fatty bacon. They’re saving that kind for purgatory. (If you end up in hell, you only get the smell of bacon, but you never get to eat any. That and the smell of raisin toast. And coffee. Oh ya, all those smells and none to eat. That is definitely what hell will be like.)
You can quote me on that.
