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Oh, Well, If Cooter Says it…

Apparently the guy who used to play Cooter on the original Dukes of Hazzard is telling people to not go see the new movie. Now granted, Ben Jones used to be a Georgia congressman, for whatever that’s worth. But in the grand scheme of things, do I really need or want this guy, who know makes his living selling Dukes of Hazzard memorabilia, telling me what movies I should or shouldn’t see? Plus, this is the Dukes of Hazzard…what the hell? It’s about two guys who spent time in jail, have no jobs, are always on the run from the local police, who live with their hot cousin and their moonshiner uncle. When did THAT kind of disfunction define “family-friendly entertainment”? It’s not like the show is in the pantheon of all-time bestest most wonderfullest TV shows. Sure, I watched it, but I was lusting after the Duke boys in their tight, package-enhancing jeans. And the guys lusted after Daisy in her, wait for it, Daisy Dukes. That’s right, those slutty barely-there shorts are known around the world as Daisy Dukes. Wholesome?! What color is the sky in your family-friendly world?

Cooter, my friend, you’re a moron. You have a Dukes’ store. Why not cash in on the movie in addition to the television show?