The Big DumpTruck

I'm off to play a little t-ball with Junior with his old teammates. We planned on an 8:30am start to beat the heat. So the heat can stay beaten until we're done!

Also, can someone please invent a towel that cleans itself? I feel like I'm just always washing the danged things.

"Weekends Were Made for Michelob"
God, when's the last time you had that jingle in your head? Well it's there now! And if you aren't nice to me, I'll give you a few others. And don't think I won't do it!

No strong plans for the weekend. That's okay, we're saving our cheese money for Florida. Have I ever explained the concept of cheese money? It's very simple. Cheese money is the extra money you have available to blow on fun stuff. The concept was invented years ago by myself when I was trying to convince Mr. Dump to take a road trip to Vermont. You know, just for fun. I told him the reason we "needed" to go was because I wanted to go to buy Vermont Cheddar cheese - that I had saved up "cheese money". Now we use the phrase "cheese money" to refer to budget excess that would allow us to do something fun - go to a museum, go to an amusement park, visit the Vermont Country Store to buy some cheese. You know, cheese money.

I want you all to feel free to go out and use this handy phrase in your everyday lives.

You'll have to forgive my obsession with Disney right now, but I'm so ready to be there that I'm not letting little things like the trip being three months away deter me from planning and just constantly thinking about it.

Today's thoughts are about Universal Studios. I think Junior would get a real kick out of going to Universal to see all the Nickelodeon stuff that he regularly sees on television. If they are in production, he might actually see sets and/or a show. That would be too cool. On the other hand, the Studios is a different "park" than Islands of Adventure, and both have their own tickets, and I just don't think we have the time or money to do both. Would he like Islands of Adventure? I'm sure of it. I know my brother-in-law is all over the whole Spider-Man thing. IOA has a big Marvel Comics section.

So, those of you who've been, thoughts?

Link to Barak Obama's speech from last night. Keep your eye on this guy, he'll be running for President sooner than you know.

http://online.wsj.com/article_email/0,,SB109096386879275460-H9jgINklaV3oZ2obIKIb62Im4,00.html

I'm sure someone will bring me down a peg or two, but allow me this small parental gloat, would you?

My kid is good at math.

I laugh when I call him Doogie, but deep in my heart, I want him to go to college at 16 even if it means two fewer years in which to save money for tuition. If he gets into college at 16, I'm pretty sure he'll qualify for a scholarship.

It started when he was about 20 months old (I think that's how old he was at the time, I can check) and he could count to thirteen. Sometimes he missed seven, but not often. That's pretty good for a 20 month old.

So he starts first grade in September, and the other night he was adding together two four-digit numbers. Actually, he did a six-digit number too. We stuck with those you don't have to carry anything over to the next column, just to get him used to doing it. He's so cool. I was not a math person. Math people go far in life.

He's better at addition than subtraction, but he has potential. He understands the concept, I just think he's got more addition memorized. Throw out six plus five and he'll quickly give you back an eleven. Without using fingers and toes! So if this is normal for a 6-year-old kindergarten graduate, I'm sorry I took up your valuable time. But I'm still pretty proud of him.

In a related note, I'm suddenly disturbed by the fact that Jimmy Neutron, Boy Genius, is in the same public school classroom as the stupid kids. If he's THAT smart, does he really belong in the same class as Sheen and Carl? Do Miss Fowl's math lessons actually stimulate his brain at all? You can see how this would bother me.

Windows are overrated, really. They couldn't finish fixing my car today so when they finally gave it back at about 5pm they said they needed it again next Tuesday. At least the window is shut and doesn't need electrical tape and a Shaws bag to keep the weather on the outside. They tell me there's a pair of pliers in there keeping the window up. That makes me feel good.

I have no idea how much it's going to cost, given that they worked on it and didn't finish it. Hourly. *shudder*

By next Tuesday that will be the right side of the car. I wonder if the left side of the car will last until I decide to buy a new one...

I got to and from work today with little or no problem. I mean, traffic was a bit heavy, but lately it's been like that daily anyway.

So I'm at work, happy as a clam (oh, can you just feeeeel the joy?) thinking to myself "thank the Good Lord I don't go in or out of Boston on a daily basis."

In other news, the rear passenger window on The Vehicle bought the farm last night. That'll teach me to put it down. That window has been a problem for over a year now. I had the front one fixed, but not the rear, and it slowly got worse and worse. I will also point out that in the winter, the front driver's side window often needs me to help it along, usually by pulling up on it with all my strength. But the back one died last night, and I was forced to work out some electrical tape-shopping bag combo to plug the hole up. Rain is expected tomorrow, you see, and I'd rather not end up with a back seat full of mold.

Cross your fingers that it's easy and cheap to fix. I'm not thrilled that this is the 2nd time I've had to pay to fix one of the windows on this thing.

Well, the only mention of the standoff in Lunenburg in the Telegram was a little mention. No shooting. I don't know what the crowd was talking about, but according to the news he allowed them in and he was just sitting on his couch. He had been threatening to kill himself with a gun.

So either the Telegram doesn't have all the details (entirely possible) or the lady who said she heard 7 shots was hearing something else. And there's no mention of children being hostages. Very odd that there were 27 cruisers if there wasn't more going on.

Well, I'm glad it ended well. Oh, and it wasn't the house where the people were sitting.

We were minding our own business, going to stop by the Walmart plaza to run into the grocery store when we see something very freaky...27 police cruisers (we counted) lining the road up the hill on toute 13 toward Leominster. Talking to one of the hundred or so people standing at the edge of the parking lot, we learn a suicidal man is holding 5 kids (or so) hostage, and 10 minutes before we arrived there'd been 7 shots. Someone was carried out on a stretcher, and within 20 minutes everhting seemed to be over.

Now none of this is verified fact, but was fed to us because someone in the crowd was on a cell phone with somebody who had a scanner. Damn the luck, I'd left my little phone camera on my keychain and my keys were at home.

I 'm going to go see if there's anything on the news...

The Boston Patrolmen's Union got the 14.5% (over 4 years) raise they wanted. That's nice, I'd like a 1% raise, but hey, who's complaining?

No, the problem is that the union [dick-]head has announced that they will picket the DNC anyway.

Excuse me? You got what you wanted so you're going to complain about...getting it? I'm telling you, if the police discover that they've suddenly lost the love and trust of a lot of people, we can point to this moment as the beginning of the end. It is truly sickening. Hey Mayor Menino...aren't you sorry you gave them their 14.5% now? It bought you...nothing.

Hey, Thomas Nee, union spokesperson, I don't give a crap if the process leaves you "feeling betrayed". You agreed to binding arbitration, no? So get that puss off your face and act like a man instead of a 3 year old throwing a tantrum. "I got ice cream but I didn't get two scoops so I'm going to hold my breath until you do something about it." Mr. Nee may be the lowest form of union slime right now. The patrolmen have said they are happy, but this guy wants to take his ball and go home because he didn't get his two scoops.

Won't this violate some contract terms or something, if they picket? I'd pull a Ronald Reagan and fire the lot of 'em for insubordination and playing like they're the mafia.

You can't swing a dead cat (or a live one, come to think of it) without finding a Boston blogger talking about the DNC. I'm going to talk about it anyway, in case the Boston Globe finds my site, sees how brilliant I am, and offers me a contract to write columns for them. Cause I would.

Yesterday, Mr. Crunchy posted a comment about the trash barrels being removed for our safety and protection.

Call me silly, but if trash cans are good bomb hiding places, wouldn't someone have already done that? Just because the DNC is in town, would any more people be killed or hurt than on any OTHER day in town? Seems stupid to me, and not only that, because people still require a place to dispose of their coffee cups and newspapers, they are using the empty holders and trash is blowing all over the city. That makes a nice impression, doesn't it?

The paranoia is amazing, but what makes it insulting to boot is that we didn't bother taking these measures for the ordinary humans who spend every day working and living in Boston. If it's so high-risk, why wait until now to make these changes? Is the head librarian from Cleveland who is part of the Ohio delegation that much more important than any one of the thousands of people who visit Boston or the Fleet center, or ride the subways with bags and boxes any other day of the week or year? Will democracy cave in if a bomb detonates at the Fleet Center next week? I doubt it. It would be a horrible, horrible thing, but not any more horrible than it detonating during a Bruins game, or an RV show. Politicians are not more important than the rest of us. They are supposed to BE the rest of us. So why aren't we being "protected" as much as they are? Are they not replaceable? We do it all the time - every November some politician somewhere is being replaced.

Sorry, didn't mean to go off on that, but reading about people being forced to take a week off without pay so the DNC folk can frolic at Fenway, have concerts, and go through the motions of picking John Kerry (over, huh, is there anyone else up for the position?) sickens me.

They say having the convention in your city brings in millions of dollars. I'm guessing that with all the extra expense (police overtime of $108k to protect us from...picketing police officers? Are you freaking kidding me?) breaking even is a pipe dream.

We're going on a Grand Gathering vacation [editor's note: At Walt Disney World] this fall with my sister's family and my parents. I'm beyond excited about the whole thing, as it's the first time since my honeymoon that I'm actually spending a week down there. Every other time we've gone in recent memory it's been a long weekend or a short week (5 days) and I always feel so rushed. I reach the point where I don't do some things I want to do because of some other things. And you feel like you're wasting time if you just take an hour to relax by the pool.

Anyway, the reservations have been made for a while now, and we recently bought the plane tickets. This week's focus is on deciding if there are any "must visit" restaurants so we can arrange priority seating. With 9 people in the group, I don't want to leave it for the last minute, even if we are going during a slightly slower time of year.

Just read a news story about the stupid DNC problems, and this one just screams paranoia. I mean seriously, is this all part of the GOP's secret plan to tick people off so much that they change party affiliations simply because the democratic national convention has turned life around here into a bloody nightmare? Seriously, are they causing this much problem in New York?

The story that set me off? They are changing the operating hours of the Somerville public pools. Are you kidding me? Are you seriously kidding me? Are the terrorists using public pools as headquarters?

What happened to that crap "If we give in to our fears the terrorists have won" that we were hearing over and over again in the early post-9/11 speeches? Suddenly it appears we not only gave in to our fears, but we've rolled over in submission to expose our bellies.

I'm thinking that if I lived in Boston, I would never ever never ever want another convention to come to town. Period. This whole thing has become absolutely moronic.

I changed cubicles over the weekend. Well, I packed up boxes and someone moved them from my perfectly fine old spot, to a new spot further away from daylight but also further away from other people. So it's got that going for it.
 
I arrived this morning to find my stuff moved, but no phone or LAN connection and two broken chairs. It's a drizzly Monday, and they were out of danish in the cafeteria. I know this because I said to myself "Well, maybe some danish will make up for how this morning is going." 
 
The oatmeal didn't quite cut it.

We're having a yard sale and I've made about a hundred and fifty bucks. The cool thing is that people bought in quantity, and a lot of the books are gone. One woman just bought every kid's book we had for $18!

So I'm typing along, minding my own...hey, what's this? Why is this font so huge? What on earth is happening here?
 
Apparently I stumbled into a upgrade over at Blogger. I have a style sheet so I assume everything I'm typing will appear the way it's supposed to over on the site after I publish.  Anyway...
 
I was looking at something on a website just now, and that site made the unfortunate decision to allow the Tickle dating people to advertise. I say unfortunate because Tickle is the x10 Camera of summer 2004. They provide you with popups, and not just one, but three! And they want to set a cookie on my system, which I'll do when I'm dead and buried, thank you very much, so I click the "no, don't allow cookies now or ever for these people" button. Thanks so much, tickle, for making me take extra steps before I can close your stupid pop-up windows.  So now I try to close the pop-ups, and two of them say, and I can hardly believe this, that I have to enable enable cookies to see their content. What? You want me to take steps with my browser to allow you to spy on me just so I can read your stupid advertising that doesn't apply to me anyway? Are you crazy? Thus my subject line today.
 
What kind of advertiser would rather say screw you to a user than show a cookie-free ad? If I was in the dating market, these idiots would be my last choice. DO YOU HEAR ME, TICKLE?

Once upon a time I was trying to teach myself VBA, because I was responsible for some Word templates that relied heavily on it. I had a reference book and muddled through to the point that while I could look at code and get an idea of what it was going to do (and could thus cut and paste things to reuse them) I couldn't write scripts from scratch.

Now I'm using Excel today and I *know* I should be able to write a macro that checks all the values in column B, and depending on what it finds there, puts in a date in column C (right next to the value.) So if b17 = 12345, c17 should be 10/10/04. Or something like that. Because I have a 900 line spreadsheet and I need to populate the c column based on what's in B, and there are only 15 options for what's in B. So I know WHAT I want the macro to do, I just don't know how to get it to do it.

I'm going to go look for my VBA book at home tonight, but I don't know if it was Word-specific or not. It probably doesn't matter.

So enough about my day, how is yours?

I was just looking in the logs, because I like to do that, and the most recent visitor came from the Minneapolis Star Tribune domain. Which is very cool. Freaky, of course, because while that person was reading my site, I was actually on the Star Tribune's site. No, seriously. Why would I lie about that? I was checking James Lileks's Backfence to see if it was updated since the last time I was there. After reading the bleat. And wouldn't it be freaky-cool if while I was reading what he wrote, he was reading what I wrote?

His Bleat today talks about the Electric Company, and the fact that Morgan Freeman was in the cast. Now what amuses me about this is that just last week I was trying to explain my concept for a funny Staples commercial to Mr. Dump, and it involved Morgan Freeman as Easy Reader in the Electric Company, and Mr. Dump thought not enough people would "get it". Well obviously T.E.C was more universal than he thought, which means my idea was just that much better than Mr. Dump was willing to give me credit. I'll have to make sure I point this out to him.

And hello Mr. Lileks, if that's you. Did Mitch tell you I'm a friend of his?

I got the chicken, broccoli and pasta alfredo for lunch in the cafeteria today. "Now without all that pesky chicken!"

Not a single piece. None. I'd go and complain, but do I really want a cup of chicken? No. I guess I'll just consider it a vegetarian entree today.

I just created my blogger profile, for whatever reason (oh, okay, go here to view it. I did it because Natalie did hers.) and the form says that since joining up with blogger back in 2001, I've written 209,128 words for your people. Do you hear me? Over 200k words! And do I get a thank you card once in a while? No.

And this doesn't even count up all the words that have bled from my fingers in the years prior to me signing up with blogger. The years when I coded every page by hand in HTML. You know, down and dirty.

Wow, 209,128 words. Plus these. I'm on a roll!

Yesterday we went to a place in Tewksbury (a place...I don't know what this kind of place should be called so I'm stuck with "a place") that had go-carts, batting cages and mini golf with my sister's family and one of her neighbors and his three kids. So we had 6 kids who were 6 and under, and a 12 year old and a 13 year old.

While it turned out to be a fairly expensive little outing ($5.25 for 8 laps in the big go-carts, $4.00 for 3 minutes in the kiddie one) it was very fun. All the kids had a turn in a vehicle of some kind. Junior could live at a place like this, and he was pretty annoyed with me when I finally cut him off. The amazing one was my 4 year old niece...we were a bit apprehensive as we listened to the woman explain the rules - my sister had an "oh my God, what have we done" face, but that little girl ROCKED! She kicked total go-cart butt, including lapping Junior on their last race! She needed NO help, and no prodding to floor the little car. As we all watched, mouths agape, I could only say "she scares me". Because she does. She's just way too good at stuff for her age, way too fearless, and way too cool. I'm not worthy to hang out with such a cool little girl. Good thing she likes me.

Oh, and they even had wiffle ball batting cages, so even the little kids (one girl wasn't yet 4) had a chance to have the machines wing balls at their heads. They have wiffle (big bat or little bat), softball (slow-med-fast and high pitch), little league (slow-med-fast), and one I assume would be called Babe Ruth or adult or something, (slow-med-fast). Junior even took a turn in the slow little league pitch, because hey, next year he's going to be in little league, and he hit three of the pitches - which is more than I can say for a couple of the adults!

Photos to follow this evening.

Another drive-in night. We only go when there's a movie Junior can go to. Last night we were lucky enough to see Garfield the Movie. Yea.

Here's a link to a Logo Game to drive you crazy this weekend. We still have 5 that we just cannot get at all. I have to go out shopping to look at logos and fonts today. Eek.

I have a Harry Nilsson song stuck in my head today. I'm not going to say it out loud because then you'll get it stuck in your head and blame me all over the place. That wouldn't be right, it's not my fault your brain is so easily influenced! Get your own earworm, you leech!

Sorry about that. I need some coffee. Or maybe I've had too much.

You know how this is a short week because of the holiday on Monday? Well it didn't seem like a short week at all, in fact, I was convinced that the holiday must have been last week. Four long days. I hope we get to do something good this weekend.

I've had my own website since 1996, my own domain since at least 1998. I pre-date this newfangled technospeak-blog thingy. Maybe the people who invented the software used my site as a model of "what people might want to do." Except I know they didn't, the original model was a site that linked to other sites and contained a few lines of descriptive text. More a portal than a journal. Mine was more a journal in the magazine sense, but it was also diary-like.

ANYHOO... Why is it that when I pull up my site to make sure all is well, that I get blog-specific ads in that little Google space? Is it simply because of the software I use to do the writing? If I wrote up a lovely Review of My Camcorder would it maybe put in some Sony Handycam links? I know I'm not supposed to call attention to those ads because I'll get in trouble and they won't let me use them to make, oh, ten cents a week. But this isn't about that. It's about how I never see ANYTHING but blog ads over there.

So, to tell you a little more about my Sony Handycam, I went for the midrange mini-dv model, the DCRHC30 and I've been very happy with it. I noticed the first reviewer over at Amazon says she doesn't like the bundled software, and I have to agree with her. One of the packages is cool for making MTV-like music videos, if you don't mind letting the software choose the clips. But I didn't buy the camera for the software, so I still give the camera 5 stars.

And that ends this test of the emergency ad generating system.

Natalie did Best of Picklejuice post and I'm still laughing out loud.

For obvious reasons, when MyYahoo told me there was a local story about a six year old being accidently (as opposed to...) killed by a dumptruck, I wanted to read the story. I have a six year old. I run the Big DumpTruck website.

Every time I clicked on the link on the Yahoo page, which was supposed to take me to a story on the BostonChannel.com, I'd get an error that the story didn't exist. And directly at the Boston Channel, there was no story.

The link was still on Yahoo this morning, same error.

Now the link is gone, and I still can't find anything about a six year old being [accidently] killed by a dumptruck. Did it happen or not? I mean, I hope not, but what's the deal with pulling stories from the news feeds?

Yesterday was pap smear day. I should have treated myself to a sundae or something after. Not only did I have that to look forward to all day, when I got there they told me it was time for my tetanus shot. Oh yea. Anything else we could do today to make it a three-fer? Maybe I could have arranged for some dental work.

I did stop at Staples and spend way too much money. But...but...they had Slinky(r) Brand sticky notes! So I have a cool little pad of sticky notes that look like that bunting you put up for baby showers. I mean, does it get any more exciting than that?

Look, I'm not going to complain about one of the three days of the three day weekend being dark and drizzly. I'm not like that. I used some of the day productively, and the rest of it I wasted playing Neopets.

Junior and I cleaned out his bookcase of all the books he's outgrown and/or doesn't like. There were quit a few, and no, nothing went into the yard sale box that *I* wanted to keep. Well, actually one went in there that I'll probably fish out before I bring it to my mom's house for the yard sale. I think I'll keep it for my future grandchildren, Casey and Christopher (why yes, my son has already picked out names for my future grandchildren. He's going to have a boy and a girl.)

Now I have to tackle my bookcases. I have kept many books on the shelves that I just will never read, or read again, and while I want to keep every book I've ever bought, I just don't want the house to collapse under the weight of my bookcase. So I've started the discard process. But I'm going to yard sale them, so that's not throwing them away. That's recycling. And any that don't sell, we can donate. I may pack some up to send to an AnySoldier address...

Mike and Ike Root Beer Float candies - I don't particularly like them. The root beer flavor isn't strong enough - there's too much of a vanilla edge, which I guess is why it's called a root bear float. I'd say don't bother, unless you are a die-hard rootbeer fan.

Happy 4th of July! And 5th of July, which appears to be the official day of celebration this year.

Anybody else remember reading about how they celebrated the 4th of July in the Little House on the Prairie books? The whole town gathering for contests, races, some kind of picnic with lemonade. Lemonade is the one item that stuck out in my head.

Unless I'm misremembering, and if I am, well, close enough, right?

I love looking at clouds. Just love it. Here's the view from the front seat as we drove down route 2 yesterday. Obviously, these don't do justice, but hey, you should have been out there yesterday, right?



We took a field trip to the Ecotarium in Worcester to see the Frogs! exhibit. Here's the coolest one, flat up on the glass of the tank, he's got his feet, etc. tucked flat underneath himself

I added a Google search box over on the right to make it easier to search the Dump archives. Or, if you love me, you'll notice what section I put the search box in, and perhaps use it whenever you need to look for something?

I did a random search and came up with an oldie but goodie issue of the Dump. Here's my favorite part:

Product Idea
I came up with the name for a new Victoria's Secret product. If any of you readers work for VS, could you tell me who do call with my idea? I call it "Bunderwear." The opposite of a thong, it actually covers your cheeks. I personally think it may be the next big thing.

Or maybe Bunderwear could be a new offering by the Cinnabun people. "I'll take two frosted, a large cola, and oh, a pair of size 5 bunderwear." Can't you see it? I mean, how lovely for Valentine's day! Dang, I really should have updated the Dump last month.

Either that or I'm really overtired. That would explain a LOT of things.

Oh great. My self-esteem takes a hit from a stupid internet quiz. You don't think I'm annoying....do you?


You're Rubik's Cube!! You may think you're
popular, but you're actually extremely
annoying. Seriously.


What childhood toy from the 80s are you?
brought to you by Quizilla

Original link seen over at Kazoofus

Now see, I always thought I put waaaay too much sugar into my coffee. I like sweet coffee, what can I say? At work, in the big cups, I generally use [*whispering*] 6 packets of sugar. Which, in my defense, is not the same as 6 spoonfuls.

But if I get a coffee at Dunkin Donuts, I just say "cream and sugar" and they make it the way I like it. Today I did that (I was running late already because I had a blood test in preparation for next week's physical, calm down) and the cup they handed me had "regular" written on it.

So nyah to all those people who give me the stink eye when they see me putting sugar in my coffee. I'm regular, and you aren't!