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Why So Creepy?

Jeepers, people I turn my back for one day and you all show up looking, apparently, for a picture of the world’s largest tumor. I don’t have one. Never did. I mentioned it on my website once, years ago, but that’s it. And today, for some reason, my referrer logs are full of people who got here via search engines who matched me up with the tumor phrase mentioned above.

If one of you could take a moment and let me know why so many of you are suddenly searching for that, I’d be thrilled. Thank you!

P.S. Here’s a little something for future searchers: world’s Ugliest Spleen.

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I Could Use Some Florida

I think my biorhythms are low today.

– Before I continue, do people even know what biorhythms are any more, or have they fallen out of the feel-good vernacular? I remember as a kid, taking the bus to the Fitchburg Public Library (even though we lived in Leominster, because my mom grew up in Fitchburg and that’s where she took us). Across the street (I think – or am I getting it confused with Espresso Pizza? I thought it was next to the hobby shop) there was a place with a machine that would read your biorhythms for a quarter and then give you a report on a printout that looked suspiciously like the cards that popped out of the Bat Computer. Which, of course, was probably what drew me to it. I remember it drew lines on the card for a certain period of time, and where the lines crossed were the critical times. If all three crossed up above the zero line, that was a GOOD day. If they crossed below, well, stay home and in bed. Does that sound right? So what I’m talking about when I say a low biorhythm day where the streams are all crossing [Ghostbusters reference, I know] at a low point. Got it? That’s as much as I can give you today, because I think my biorhythms are low. Which brings us full circle. –

So what was I saying? Well, anyway, if they are low, it gives me an excuse to be cranky and blue, right? Cause I am. Little things are getting to me, and I don’t want to blame it on PMS (I could), but instead on an overall low physical and emotional biorhythm. Which doesn’t mean I’m sick, it just means keep an eye out, right? I hunted down a site that will do it for you for free. Let’s see if I’m right. I went to Care2.com and entered my birthdate. My emotional and intellectual are crossing the zero line headed downward. The intellectual one today, in fact. And the text at the top says “Cycles above that midpoint are positive, and cycles below the midpoint are negative. A critical day occurs when your biorhythm cycles cross the zero line on the ascent or descent. On critical days, performance in the affected cycles might be particularly poor.” Well there you go. I’m passing zero on intellectual today. I passed zero on Emotional yesterday. Not saying there’s anything to this, but it is interesting to play with anyway.

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Skippy

I missed posting yesterday, in at least two of the definitions for the word “missed”. I’m wondering if there are more than two, but for what matters, I “missed” posting here. I could have, but no time, no energy, strange lack of something to say.

“But,” you respond, “that hasn’t stopped you before.”

“Well,” I counter, “your inability to see how important every word that flows from my fingertips is, does not mean I’m not saying something important. Look within yourself, not at me.”

“Sure, blame us.”

“You aren’t looking within yourself, you’re looking at me. I told you, stop looking at me, or I’ll tell mom.”

“Go ahead, tell her.”

“I’ll do it.”

“So do it.”

“I will.”

“Ya?”

“MOOOOOOOOOOOOOM!”

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Monday is Pants Day

I think if Dr, King were alive…well wait, if he were alive he wouldn’t have a Federal Holiday, I’m pretty sure. Okay, ignoring that, I think he’d be really happy that I celebrated the day shopping for pants.

I think my immediate pants crisis is in check, and I can focus on 1-2 sweaters, and then I can buy clothes like a normal person. Dropping two pant sizes last year was nice but it blew up my wardrobe, y’know? I am just trung to rebuild basics, like now I want a black sweater. You’d think I’d have one of those, but the one I did have swims on me now. Looks messy for work, really.

I’d fill my wish list with clothing I’d like, cause it’s my birthday next week and all…but if I put the size down, once you saw it. I’d have to kill you.

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